As a Kurdish man in the European diaspora, I’m interested in meeting Kurdish women here who, like me, grew up in the same country but are also proud of their Kurdish culture and identity.
There’s one thing I’ve been wondering about. This might just be based on my own unlucky experiences or assumptions, so I’m open to being completely wrong.
I sometimes get the impression that Kurdish women who grew up in the west are not very interested in dating Kurdish men. Sometimes, it feels like there is hesitation or concern around the idea.
I mention growing up in the west because many of us were raised around more progressive views, especially regarding women’s roles and equality in relationships. That’s completely understandable that women want to be treated as equals and thus are selective in who they date/have relationships with.
My impression is that some Kurdish women in the diaspora may see Kurdish men as old-fashioned, religiously conservative, controlling, or unwilling to contribute equally at home. There may also be fears about being tied to in-laws, especially a controlling mother-in-law.
To be clear, I’m not saying this is the truth, and I’m not trying to blame anyone. I’m mostly basing this on conversations I’ve overheard in family settings, as well as what I’ve noticed among Kurdish women around my age.
It feels unfair because many Kurdish men who grew up in the west, myself included, do have progressive values and don’t fit those stereotypes. But sometimes it feels like we still get judged that way.
Am I overthinking this? Is this mostly in my head?
To both Kurdish men and women here: what has your experience been?