A poem about god
My anger scares me and takes me up, Only when it comes to him. I don’t want it, that anger, that refined and practical and human reality anger that would fit into society as a rich old man if I held that anger on my spirit, on my self towards him, I hate it. Being angry towards him for no reason or a reason I cannot be aware of right now is something only he will know, where it comes from and why it is. That makes me so happy and whole and warm and safe and content for a moment that he knows and chooses me over and over, despite my faults. I am not perfect I am a sinner. I’ve lost track of praising him because I am a wimpy bastard with no life who cares more about sex and drugs that wholeness. Why am I this way and I wrote that first part confident in my knowing of my failure standing up against my accusers, maybe I will never know the real reasons for my choices only god knows. I hope I learn about it some day. Bang! Reality scares me again and I know I’ve done wrong, that’s it! Signals from the universe I must go slower and more fully 54321 I don’t even know where I am at this point because all I know is sex drugs and rock and roll which is stupid and pointless I. The eyes of god so why do I choose it am I just that thick or am I forced or weaker than I assume I am????? Whatever it all is in me around me whatever it all is I have faith it’ll all work out for the greater good and my life will be used by the father to help others and execute his will for me and my life in all aspects and wills. Amen
Kordian Gil 8th May, 2026 Friday x