I caved on day 5
Guess I’m just looking for a little community as I’m kicking myself.
Quick back story - I (47F) smoked cigarettes in college, but quit when I got out in the real world, assisted by a boyfriend, now husband, who quick himself after college and has been militantly anti-smoking ever since. I would smoke once in a blue moon when I was away on a trip for work, just for the fun and nostalgia of it. Well, I went away for an extended 6-month trip for work and fully picked the habit back up. Then I found Zyns, and fully replaces the smoking with Zyns. I’ve been using them for about a year at this point, 3mg, typically 8-10 per day.
I’ve really been wanting to quit because they ramp up my anxiety, they mess with my sleep, I don’t like that I’m hiding them from my husband, and just generally don’t want to be addicted. I’ve attempted quitting a few times, but never made it more than 5 days.
This past week I took the entire week off of work from my high-stress job with the intention of it being a self-care week. Catch up on sleep, drink less, go to the gym, and most importantly, quit the Zyns. I did great for with the first three items, and I made it four and a half days on the “no Zyns” before I just… lost the motivation to be done with them.
Anyway, any words of encouragement would be appreciated. I still want to quit, but I’m feeling pretty down on myself for squandering this week off. And feeling very much like I’m just not strong enough to do this. I have accomplished many things in my life that were difficult, challenging, or even painful, but this just feels beyond me.