u/Known_Associate1785

Lancer : Ho ho ho!

Susie : You sound like baby Santa Claus.

Lancer : Oh, does that mean I'm scary.

Susie : No! Not scary at all, in fact more silly than scary.

The Wedding Reception. A giant cake shaped like a tube of Crest toothpaste sits in the center of the room. Lancer is blasting cartoon sound effects over the microphone.)

Ralsei: (Smiling proudly, holding a giant cake knife) Look, Kris! It even has the little blue and white stripes inside the frosting!

Kris: (Staring blankly at the cake) Can we eat it with a toothbrush?

Susie: (Walking up, already holding a plate) If you two don't cut that thing in five seconds, I'm biting it like an apple.

Ralsei: (Gently placing his hand over Kris's to hold the knife) Together, Kris! On three! One... two...

(Suddenly, Noelle bursts through the reception doors, sweating and pointing dramatically at Kris's hand.)

Noelle: KRIS!!! Is that... is that the SNOW RING?! Where did you get that?! I thought we left that in the Cyber City Dumpster!!!

Ralsei: *(Blinks, looking at Noelle, then at Kris)*Wait, Kris... you got this from a dumpster?

Kris: (Deadpan) It was a very romantic dumpster.

Susie: (Facepalms) Man, I thought the locker thing was bad. Kris, you gave your new husband a trash ring?

Kris: It gives +4 Magic and increases Cold resistance. I am protecting him.

Lancer: (Splashing punch everywhere) Woo! Trash ring! Everybody do the dumpster dance!

Ralsei: (Sighs, but smiles anyway, looking at Kris) Well... it is very shiny. And my hands dofeel remarkably warm now. I forgive you, Kris.

Kris: Good. Let's eat the toothpaste.

Susie: (Staring blankly) Dude... you are freakin' weird.

Ralsei: (Hands on his face, eyes wide with panic) KRIS! We are pausing the wedding right now! Did you get a concussion?! Are you bleeding under your hair?!

Kris: No. I just thought it was a very intense high-five with a wall.

Susie: I slammed you by your collar, Kris! Your feet left the floor!

Kris: It made me feel alive.

Ralsei: (Deeply distressed) Susie, why did you slam my beautiful spouse against a locker?!

Susie: Hey, don't look at me like that, fluffy boy! That was Chapter 1! I was a bad guy back then! I'm nice now! I literally just married you two!

Lancer: (Bursting into the chapel riding his bicycle) Attention everyone! The buffet is open, and the cake is shaped like a giant tube of Crest!

Ralsei: Kris... promise me that from now on, if you want to feel alive, you will just eat moss. No more lockers.

Kris: (Nods slowly) Deal. Can I put the Snow Ring on you now?

Ralsei: Oh, okay!

Ralsei : Kris, will you marry me?

Kris : Of course. *kisses Ralsei*

Both : What is that minty taste in our mouths?

(5 days later at the wedding)

Susie : I now pronounce you husband and spouse.

Ralsei : here's the snow ring you tried to equip on me before.

Kris : Thank you.

Susie : Kris.

Kris : Yes Susie?

Susie : I am sorry for slamming you against the locker last year.

Kris : I forgot about that but I accept, in fact I kinda enjoyed it.

Susie : What?!

Ralsei : What?! Kris, Susie slammed you against the locker, were you okay?

Kris : Yeah I was, startled me.