I recovered. You will, too!
I was on Reddit reading posts, rabbit hole-ing, and someone mentioned that often, people who recover from derealization don’t return to forums and announce their recovery, so here I am!
I have dealt with anxiety and derealization since I was too young to know what it was. I remember being 6 years old and asking my dad at Cici’s Pizza “Why do I feel like I’m not really here?”. Back then, it came and went, and though it was anxiety inducing, I didn’t pay much attention to it, and it never stuck around. As I got older, I had it after going on benders, after panic attacks, after a head injury, after weed… you name it, but it never lasted more than a few weeks.
Last July, I had a health scare that rocked my world. I was dealing with constant, front row anxiety inducing symptoms that were impossible to ignore. I was so afraid, and that intense fear triggered the longest episode of derealization I have ever experienced. From July 2025 until January 2026, I was a complete mess. I couldn’t tell whether symptoms were a result of derealization and anxiety or something catastrophic happening to my brain. My vision was wonky. My neck and shoulders were so stiff that I couldn’t turn my head. Breathing felt like a chore I had to think really hard about. I felt dizzy and disconnected all the time. I found myself searching for words. I couldn’t spell. I felt like my intelligence was gone. Nothing looked “right”, especially outside. I couldn’t focus. I spent all my time crying and reassurance seeking. I was constantly Googling or talking to AI, reading horror stories, and was absolutely convinced that I was stuck permanently in that dulled state. I remember thinking about how much joy I used to find in just being at home and watching my TV shows, and the thought that I would never enjoy such a mundane thing again brought me immense sadness.
I had read all the things about making it go away, but when you’re in that state, it’s a lot easier said than done. One day, I decided NO MORE. I decided I was going to participate in life in whatever state I was in. I couldn’t keep putting everything on hold. It had been months, and nothing was changing, so I accepted my situation, stopped Googling and chatting with AI 24 hours a day, and started trying to BE present for myself and the people I love again, even if I didn’t FEEL present. I faced life head on and cried in the bathtub at night. I’m honestly not even sure when it actually disappeared, but sometime around January the fog began to lift. By May, the physical symptoms that were a result of the anxiety and depersonalization were gone. It’s August now, and I’m 100% me again. My head is clear, the pain is gone, my vision is normal, I can think…. and I am so thankful I am able to enjoy the mundane things, like a quiet evening at home again! I can even panic without it coming back, as I haven proven many times to myself over the past few months. 😅
If my anxiety wasn’t as prominent as it is, it probably would have gone away a lot sooner! I definitely ’kept it alive’ with constant reassurance seeking.
MY ADVICE: Acknowledge it, then force yourself to live exactly as you would if it wasn’t there.
Better days are right around the corner, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now! Wishing you so much joy! 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍