How do you deal with the fact that you're no longer in your prime?
I'm turning 44 and I've been training martial arts for over 25 years, always as a hobbyist. There were times when I basically lived for training, and martial arts became a huge part of my identity.
My physical prime was probably 7–8 years ago, when I trained Muay Thai, BJJ and self-defense at the same time. I was in the best shape of my life.
Over the last couple of years, things have changed. I still love martial arts, but the window in which I enjoy training has become narrower, especially with sparring.
I still love light, controlled sparring with experienced partners. But I'm increasingly unwilling to spar with young, inexperienced guys who go too hard or overly competitive guys. I have an old knee with several surgeries behind it, and getting injured because someone can't control their power just isn't worth it anymore.
The strange thing is that I don't really feel old. I'm still fit, lift weights, hit the heavy bag and can spar. What has changed is my willingness to take unnecessary risks and my motivation to train constantly.
I used to train 3–4 times a week and hated missing sessions. Today, two or three martial arts sessions a month can be enough for me, and sometimes I don't train for several weeks without really missing it.
That's actually harder for me to accept than getting physically older. After 25 years, being a martial artist is part of my identity. There's still this little voice saying: "The old you would have trained. Are you becoming soft?"
But maybe being a martial artist in your 40s means accepting that you don't have to train like you're 22. I'd rather have two good sessions a month and still enjoy doing this at 50 or 60 than force myself to train just to prove something. Currently I'm training unregularly in my long-term self-defense school where there are more people my age and also occasionally in a kickboxing sparring class for hobbyists.
For the older veterans here: How did you deal with this transition? Did you struggle with separating your identity as a martial artist from how often and how hard you train?