u/L0ounix

Hi guys,

I came here one year ago I think, maybe even a bit more because of some issues with my mom (82 ) and her playing with her bandages and waking me up many times at night. I had a burn out two years ago because of that, because yeah, it lasted almost 2 years.

Back to now, she has new health issues, severe hip OA that can't be operated on and I suspect the pain mostly comes from great trochanter pain syndrome. He heart is also getting weaker but for now, she doesn't have much symptomes of that.

I am just so exhausted. I've been a caregiver for 10 years (I'm now 34). It is so much work and the more it goes, the more I feel like it's all so stupid and useless. I am deep in a second burnout, funsies ( I also have bpd and that probably makes me a lot more sensitive to burnouts I guess).

I am at that point where i don't even care that she's in pain but at the same time it tears my heart. I get mad, at the situation not a her. But it eats me alive.

There are options in my country for short hospital stays to support caregiver and I finally contacted them last week. I still haven't gotten anything back and I don't even have the energy to call back or do anything. I just want to go cry in a corner and be in peace, you know ?

I don't talk about all that to anyone, except my boyfriend. Because let's be real, friends never understand the amount of work being a caregiver entails. I just need some kind words and mini support to help me do the things like calling them again and stuff. Cause right now, I just feel like giving up...

Thanks for reading all that🩷

Hey fellow caregivers,

I ( 34f) don't really know how to start this. I posted here months ago about my situation, and in a way, it was worst because I got woken up almost every night by my mom (82) taking her bandages off.

Now this is not an issue anymore, but her overall health is declining and I have a hard time dealing with it. Her situation is complicated, she has osteomyelitis due to a metal rod that she's had in her femur for the past 60 years. The infection is around the rod, and she decided she didn't want the rod out because she was scared etc. That's just to set the base of the issue. Since she has that chronic infection, she can't get a valve replacement so she is very slowly going into hearth failure. She's also developing severe hip osteoarthritis on the opposite hip. ( and of course cannot get hip replacement either because of the ongoing infection) That makes everything more complicated : getting her in the car, walking, etc

Taking care of her is hard, but i am blessed in the sense that she us nice and understanding. But I have a horrible time dealing with her being in pain. She has pain medication but we want to avoid stuff that would make her sleepy. She can deal with the pain for now, but some days are hard.

I have unhealthy ways of coping, most of the time I dissociate, but you just know it'll come back at random and bite you in the ass. I used to have an amazing psychiatrist for almost 5 years but he stopped due to some changes in health laws here. And 6 of the other psychiatrists in the region ( 40km around ) stopped too. There wasn't that many already but now I've been stuck with no psychiatrist for 6 months.

I would like to know if you have any advice to share on how you deal with seeing others in pain like this. That would truly help me. Cause I am the kind of person the overthink and tell myself I can't have fun while knowing she's in bed in pain.

Thank you for reading, and I wish you all a good Sunday 💖

Hey, so this might be a longer post, but please bear with me because I need some advice or anything really...

I (34) have been a caregiver for my mom (82) for 10 years now. For the past years, her health has been going downhill. She's been having to deal with an osteomyelitis for almost 3 years. This is due to the consequences of a car accident she had when she was 19. Her femur got destroyed so they out a metal rod that goes from her hip to her knee. The infection surrounds that crap rod and it's leaking though a fistula on her knee.

The osteomyelitis part is important because the only solution was to take the rod out, but the doctor wasn't sure she could walk again because the bone is compromised. Anyways, she is too scared to do it, and to be fair, me too.

The problem is, one of her heart valve has gotten really small and the only thing they can do it to change it. ( I can't for the life of me remember which valve it is but it's not the one for which the can blow a ballon or whatever to make it bigger again). And you guessed it, they can't replace a valve when there is an ongoing infection in the body because the valve can get infected too...

So we're stuck.. with her going into heart failure slowly but surely. She doesn't feel the symptoms as of yet. She isn't that mobile so it may explain why. She might get out of breath when walking and her legs are a bit swollen. But she feels okay and still does activity at the daycare 3-4 days a week.

It makes me so sad because I know one day or another she's gonna be really badly sick. Is there anything I can do to help her somehow ? Any natural treatment ? I'm at a loss... She already takes many medications to calm her heart and lower her blood pressure but since I'm from Switzerland I'm not sure they're called the same.

Thanks to those who took the time to read