He won’t let anyone else help!
I am the caregiver for my husband who has Parkinson’s. He is fully disabled (for a couple of years now) and I have been taking care of him with zero help. I am exhausted and all we do is ADD to my list of things to do every day and we never take anything away! I recently found out our daughter might be able to help a few hours a week. I was so overjoyed to finally have some things taken off my plate. However, my husband keeps adding to the list ALL the things he does not want her to do. He won’t allow her to change his diaper (I understand that), he doesn’t want her to dress him, or use the hydronic lift to get him in/out of bed. He doesn’t want her to change the dressing on the open wound he has from cancer, he doesn’t want her cooking or cleaning (she isn’t very good at those things anyway). Of course, she can’t do the bills or fix stuff around the house or go to my appointments. He doesn’t want her to do laundry as she will see his urine soaked sheets, etc. I asked him to name ONE thing she can take off my plate and he just looked at me like a deer in the headlights! WTF! 🤬 So, basically, he is only happy if I am doing everything on my own! The only thing left is for her just to sit with him while I take a shower or do whatever but honestly that doesn’t lesson the mental load at all. It takes nothing off my plate. I am so upset right now I could cry. No one cares about my needs as long as his needs are met. 😢