Help! I am at my wits end with my new dogs behavior
My husband and I adopted a 3 year old dog in November (Monty). We already have an almost 9 year old Shepard mix. Please read through because I’m desperate for help. I will answer any questions, I could write a book on this experience and all the details.
It was a big adjustment for everyone with adopting Monty. He was being rehomed by a couple who had two young kids and essentially framed it to us as they just didn’t think they could provide him with the life that he needs. They thought he would do great with another dog in the home, and he needed a yard and space to run (which we have). Looking back I see that that’s not a reason you just rehome a dog. Like obviously something else was going on and now it’s clear.
He did not adjust well to our other dog. He was aggressive from the start with her, yet curious at the same time. We put A LOT of work into getting them to get along; keeping them separate for almost 4 months while they adjusted to each others presence, going on joint walks together (but he would barely leave the driveway so that was really hard), we worked with a behaviorist too. When we tried to introduce him to the dog sitter about 3 months in, he was extremely territorial, lunging and snapping. Kept working with the behaviorist on getting him comfortable with her, and the behaviorists take was that he’s just extremely frightened/anxious.
We have been doing everything we possibly can to make him comfortable in our home. After about 4 months we were able to drop all gates and the dogs could finally be civil with each other and even played like once a day! But despite the efforts, he would get in crazy mood swings where he would randomly start growling aggressively and sulk away to his bed or crate (and I seriously mean randomly, zero triggers that I could possibly think of). It eventually led to two really bad fights between the dogs. One resulted in stitches on Monty by his eye. Both also caused bleeding injuries to our older dog.
After the latest incident we got him on medication. But that seemed to only make it worse. He stopped eating completely and kept peeing in the house. We dropped his dose and he was better, but he’s still not good.
We’re 8 months in and I am starting to completely regret ever getting him. He is draining all my energy. I’m so depressed because I don’t know how to make him happy. He’s been refusing to go outside. We just fenced in the yard for him and he was SO happy out there for like a few weeks until the medicine and now he seems so afraid of going outside. He will pee inside all the time when you try to approach him to bring him out, or just approaching him in general sometimes. He still has his tantrums, and he’s still not eating. When we leave his bowl down for him to work on the food, he just hovers by it like he’s protecting it. He’ll defend it from our older dog but he’s good if we pick it ip.
I’m just at a loss. Nothing he does feels normal. He’s so scared and I don’t know what else to do to make him feel comfortable. I feel so guilty for bringing him into my older dogs house and now she can’t even feel safe in her own home. I just don’t know what to do, the vets and the trainer don’t seem to help. It’s ruining me.