u/LawComprehensive2142

I'm 42f my brother is 45 but does 0 help. My husband and i moved my mom into an apartment that we built in our basement 5 years ago. (My brother has literally never been to my house despite living 15 min away).) My mom is 78 in August. She is mentally pretty coherent but physically declining. She's the oldest of 6. Her next sibling is her sister who is 76 (her twin brother died this year). 76 yo has mild to moderate dementia and never married or had kids. She lives an hour and a half away. I'm her guardian of property because she kept being brought in by scammers.

She's with it enough that we can't really force her to move (APS found she needed a guardian of property but not person even though she really kinda does need one.)

She told me she would rather die than leave her house. She gets confused easy. I have to drive an hour and a half each way every couple of weeks.

My husband helps when he can but he's the sole breadwinner. I'm disabled and a SAHM to our 2 autistic kiddos.

I'm just so tired. The women in my family hang on forever. One of the other sisters has been dying for at least 12 years. She did a farewell tour 5 years ago. She's still hanging in, she doesn't know who anyone is anymore and barely eats but somehow just keeps... existing.

I feel bad for thinking about when she's gone. I feel bad for thinking how much easier that will be. I feel bad looking and thinking about how this could be over a decade of doing this and how exhausting that will be.

Eventually we'll have to push the issue. Eventually she'll have to move. She lives in a small community where everyone knows and loves her but i also had to join the neighborhood Facebook group because people found her wandering around confused. Lots of people have my number in case she gets confused when walking. (She's not allowed to drive).

She's an amazingly kind and compassionate woman. She was amazingly brilliant and now the lanyard on her medical alert device confuses her. But she's really good at pulling it together for 30 min here or there when doctors are involved. She's also zany and so sometimes it's hard for others to tell the difference between silly and confused.

I will continue to show up for her and I will continue to help her and when the time comes, I'll be the bad guy and force her to lose her independence.

But today, I'm just really tired.

I'm looking for something with stardew valley vibes.