u/LeFauxCreux

The nut registered as a 6.4 on the Richter scale.
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Pft, next are you gonna tell me that porcupines can't shoot their quills like darts?
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She really hates Mondays!
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"Hey, do you want to--"
"Sure!"
"Model for--"
"You've already sold me, buddy!"
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Eh, I’m more of a dog person. And If you pictured in your mind what I think you did, I’m sorry, but you’re now a furry! Please go pick up your fursona at your nearest FurFest venue.
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Any similarities with the Finnish culture is purely coincidental, but they are 100% exactly like this.
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I’ve never had pumpkin pie but I imagine it’s pretty “eh.”
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"This planet also seem to have an unusually high rate of emergency beacon breakdowns too. How curious..."
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If I could have any cosmetic surgery I'd elongate my arms and legs.
Why? I dunno... I just like the idea of standing still by a treeline at dusk and strike a creepy silhouette for passers by.
WHY, WHAT WOULD YOUR COSMETIC SURGERY BE, AND WHY IS THAT SO GREAT?!
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Naturally you can wear a trench coat as normal clothing, but legally ya need a gumshoe license for that.
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“She boarded when we passed through that nebula, you know, the one with all those disembodied screams.”
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The maintenance crew just need to adjust those POLEarities!
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The Maidropolitan Police Department.
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I sometimes catch myself losing time staring at those drone panning screensaver things on apple TV. That has the same effect as touching grass, I'm sure.
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Once I broke my ankle stepping out of my very normal human bed.
That's only a joke in the sense that my bone density is laughable.
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A symbiote can put the fedora on the detective, but not the detective into the fedora.
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Once you go Nordic, you can’t do norm-dick!
(That jokes require you to know about UFO lore, but if you take the time read up on it I promise you that it won’t be worth it). | Patreon | Bluesky | Website |

Callback!
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Order your Bipi-pet™ today, and make those judgemental glares you get at the park feel earned. You freak!
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At least it's not microplastics.
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