how do i find motivation to live, not just survive
as the title suggests, i've come to this subreddit because nothing else has worked. some context, i took 5 years to get a bachelor of arts in a program that is a mix of art and business, the courses were interesting and i got to do some hands on work that i enjoyed, but i cruised my way through, not putting in any extra effort, joining clubs or teams or networking. i went in, did the work, walked the stage, and that was that, looking back it feels like i wasted five years of my life, but what's done is done.
now im a year post grad, working a sales job that is very boring, takes up 12 hours of my day from the time i wake up to the time i get home, and is not an industry or position i am interested in at all, but hey it pays the bills (ish). i am actively looking for work, but the job market is shit, and getting any entry level creative position is incredibly difficult. the thing is i dont even know what i really want to do. i know what i enjoy, the type of media and work i like to consume, but i have no real skills or talents and most importantly - no motivation or discipline to learn anything. most days its hard to find motivation to even get out of bed, let alone go out of my way to do something new. im in a happy relationship, which is a silver lining and he is my rock and my best friend and its hard because he's found his passions, and although he has his problems too he seems much happier and motivated than me. i kind of hate the city i live in and i want to move somewhere new (mostly, i think because i want to run away from my problems and get a change of scenery), but he wouldnt be able to come with me for a few years, and i dont want to leave him.
i guess i am here, taking to reddit for the first time in my life because maybe getting advice or hearing stories from strangers on the internet will help, in some way.
i appreciate it if you've read all this and if you take any time to reply to me. im sure im not alone in dealing with this sort of thing, so were all in it together i guess.