u/LimpDrawing5696

There are times when I have extremely acute and intense onset of panic that triggers a vasovagal episode. When this happens, I feel light-headed and my vision starts to tunnel/black out. I always drop to the floor immediately because it feels like I'm 100% going to pass out.

When this happens, I also experience intense nausea and sometimes feel like I'm going to have diarrhea. It's a full blown terror feeling and I am fully incapacitated. My brain and body are fully shut down, so the only coping skill I can use is to get on the floor in child's pose.

After a minute or so, the feeling starts to pass and I break out in a sweat. And I mean like I am dripping sweat and my clothes are wet in a matter of a minute. I'll have tingling in my limbs and then I get extremely cold. I've been told by other who have witnessed this happen to me that I completely lose the color in my face.

The entire episode from start to finish happens in less than 10 minutes. I've described this to several doctors and I've been checked out by a cardiologist. Everyone seems to agree that it's related to panic.

In the last 2 months I've had 2 of these episodes occur during the middle of the night. I wake up out of a sound sleep and go straight into one of these vasovagal episodes, which is weird because I also feel disoriented from sleep.

Does this happen to anyone else?

I’ve been going through a rough time with my anxiety and panic for the past 2 months or so.

I’ve been working with my psych to try new/different antidepressants, which has been extremely rough. I’m also in therapy.

I have klonopin to take PRN, but sometimes I struggle with knowing when to take it. I have no issue taking it when I’m having a full blown, level 10 panic attack. But when my anxiety is around a 6 or 7 out of 10 and I take a klonopin, I sometimes feel like a failure. I want to be able to practice the skills that I’m working on in therapy during these times, and I often do. But other times I feel like I just need relief so badly.

I’m scared that the klonopin is reinforcing the idea that I can’t handle the panic on my own, thus making it worse. I’m scared that I’m going to become dependent on benzos. I’m scared that nothing will work for me - none of the antidepressants, none of the therapy. I’m scared of missing out on life. I’m scared of losing hope. I’m scared of all of it. This is so hard.

Five days ago I decreased my dosage of Celexa from 30mg to 25mg. The plan is to decrease to 20mg and then introduce desipramine.

I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through this transition. I’m feeling AWFUL. Increased anxiety, increased panic, my stomach is upset, I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m so uncomfortable for a large part of the day.

How am I going to do this?! I feel so discouraged and honestly, so scared right now. I’m on the verge of a spiral.

Five days ago I decreased my dosage of Celexa from 30mg to 25mg. The plan is to decrease to 20mg and then introduce desipramine.

I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through this transition. I’m feeling AWFUL. Increased anxiety, my stomach is upset, I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m so uncomfortable for a large part of the day.

How am I going to do this?! I feel so discouraged and honestly, so scared right now.

I slowly increased my dosage to 30mg over the past few years. Things were going well, but I recently I had a breakthrough panic attack and I’ve struggled to return to baseline.

I meet with my psych this week and I’m nervous he’s going to want to increase my dosage to 40mg.

I’m scared of being on a high dosage. What if I don’t feel better on 40mg? Then what? What about side effects of a high dosage? How am I ever going to be able to come off or go back down eventually?

I know these are all anxious, intrusive thoughts. But it took me a long time to find the right med, and the process felt horrible. I have a fear of that med-changing experience again.

I’ve also restarted therapy to increase my support, so hoping that helps as well.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Or can anyone share their perspective or insight?

I went through a horrible period of anxiety and panic attacks around 5 years ago. It took a lot of therapy and meds to get it under control. Since then, I’ve stayed on meds and I stopped therapy around 2 years ago.

Flash forward…last week I woke up to a level 10 nocturnal panic attack. I haven’t had one that intense in a very long time. Ever since then I’ve been struggling to return to baseline. I feel the panic loop starting. I feel so uncomfortable and then the thought loop starts: “why am I feeling like this? Am I going backwards? How am I going to get this to stop?” Then I feel low mood, which also triggers panic “am I going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life? What if I can’t? What if I become suicidal?” (I’m not suicidal at all, but the fear of becoming suicidal has been a trigger for me in the past).

I know all of these thoughts are keeping me in the loop. But it’s so HARD to stop it. I’m trying to just be present and not think about these future questions. But it’s hard to stay present when in the present I feel so horrible and uncomfortable.

I’ve made an appointment to start therapy again in a few days. But I can’t lie, I feel very defeated. I don’t know why this is happening again. I don’t want to lose hope. (The thought of losing hope also makes me panic! )

Can anyone else relate? Or offer advice or words of wisdom?

What size is your indoor enclosure? He’s 6 years old.

Any other recs or tips for making my enclosure?

Also, what do you use to waterproof the floor?

Over the past several months I’ve fostered several litters of kittens. This last litter was the most challenging. I had a mom and her 4 babies who were seized from a hoarding situation and were in terrible shape when I took them in.

Over the course of a month, all 4 of the kittens didn’t make it. On top of that, I’m left with ringworm.

I tried my best and I knew it was going to be an uphill battle from the start with this group. But I’m really feeling sad and discouraged about the whole situation. And I know ringworm isn’t that big of a deal, but it’s just another added layer of stress. I also have some health anxiety, so my reaction to having ringworm is more stressful than it probably needs to be.

This whole scenario has me questioning whether I should foster again. I get a lump in my throat when I think about losing those sweet kittens. And then the ringworm of it all. I just feel so down about it. But I don’t want that to be the end of my foster journey.

I need to hear some words of encouragement from anyone who has gotten back in the saddle after a particularly hard foster experience.

EDIT: I took them to the shelter today and the vets reassured me that euthanasia was the right decision, so I moved forward with their recommendation. I’ve been crying all day. Cleaning their room was SO hard. I feel terrible. Im going to take a little break from fostering, but I really hope my foster journey doesn’t end here. I’ve added pics to the comments. I hope they know they were loved.

A month ago I took in a mommy cat and 4 kittens who were seized from a hoarding situation. The kittens were approximately 10 days old and were in very bad shape. URIs, eye issues, skin issues, severely underweight, severe flea infestation. Mom weighed 5 pounds at intake.

Within 48 hours of taking them in, I had a fading kitten who didn’t survive.

Since then, I’ve been treating them regularly with meds, doing lime sulfer dips, etc. mom has had intermittent diarrhea which has been a mess to clean up. The 3 remaining kittens were still underweight, but were gaining slowly. Eye and skin issues persisted despite treatment.

The kittens are now roughly 6 weeks old. Two days ago, the smallest kitten crashed out of nowhere and had to be euthanized. Today, I took the mom and remaining 2 kittens in to the vet. After a thorough exam, the vet felt that euthanasia for the remaining two kittens was an appropriate option considering their persistent health issues. But she also gave me the option to keep trying treatment if I wanted to.

I haven’t made a decision yet but I’ve been crying all day. I’m exhausted, and I’m pretty sure I now have ringworm from the kittens. Which makes me nervous for my two resident dogs. Even though I know ringworm isn’t harmful, the nightmare stories give me extreme anxiety.

Right now, I’m leaning towards the euthanasia option but my heart feels absolutely broken. I know the kittens aren’t healthy, but they also aren’t currently in crisis. So part of me feels like I’m giving up on them. And I feel very guilty.

I guess I’m looking for support or advice from anyone who has faced a remotely similar situation.