u/Lin-Dove

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Induced at 36 weeks with BP of 185/117.

My OB just seemed mad. Kept snapping at me, my husband and the nurses. so much so that my nurse (who was amazing) apologized to me. Right as I was crowning I felt the worst headache I’d ever had in my life and the last thing I remember was saying “ow it hurts” and the doctor saying “you have an epidural you’re fine”

I don’t remember anything after that but after I deliver my boy and he was put on my chest I had a seizure.

When I woke up in the ICU my nurse visited me, but told me she couldn’t stay long because was breaking Covid rules by even being there. She told me that when I started seizing my placenta wasn’t so much delivered as it was shot out like a missile right at the doctor.

She laughed, I laughed. She didn’t say it but we both agreed he’s an ass.

I don’t remember her name but that small act of camaraderie meant the world to me.

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Okay, please tell me I’m not the only one whose brain is completely broken by this job.

I just finished a stretch of three 12s in the ED (Emergency Department). We were short-staffed, full moon energy, the works. I had a "sundowner" patient who needed constant redirection for 12 hours straight. You know the drill, gentle tone, simple sentences, lots of "Let’s just sit back down, honey."

So, I get home, totally fried. My husband starts complaining about how he can't find his car keys for the third time this week, and he's getting worked up/frustrated.

Without even thinking, my eyes glazed over, I put my hand on his arm, tilted my head, and said in that sickly sweet high-pitched nurse voice:

"It’s okay, buddy. We’re just having a big feeling right now. Let’s take a deep breath and look together, okay? No need to be scared."

The silence in the kitchen was deafening. He looked at me like I had two heads. I realized what I said and just started hysterical laughing-crying. He walked away slowly like I was the psych patient.

I feel like I’m becoming feral. I eat lunch in 4 minutes standing over a trash can, I can't listen to normal people complain about a cold without judging them, and now I’m therapeutic-communication-ing my spouse.

Is there a support group for this? Or just more wine? 🍷🚑

TL;DR: My nursing persona has hijacked my actual personality and I treated my husband like a confused geriatric patient. Send help.