A small thing my wife did made me realize how much I was guessing
My wife called me from the kitchen last week.
Normally I guess in that situation.
Was she saying my name?
Was she asking me to grab something?
Was she just talking to herself?
I usually answer something random or walk over like I heard her. A lot of the time I didn’t.
That day she didn’t yell or repeat herself three times. She just came to the doorway, looked at me, and said it again. Such a small thing, but it hit me weirdly hard.
I realized how much of my day has been guessing.
Guessing what the cashier said.
Guessing why people laughed.
Guessing if someone was talking to me.
Guessing if my wife was already tired of repeating herself.
I’ve started taking it more seriously now. Went to Costco for a hearing test and I’ve been trying to wear hearing aids more regularly. My wife had bought me a Vivtone Bluetooth hearing aid a while back, after months of me saying I’d deal with it later. I finally stopped leaving it in the drawer.
The extra noise still gets to me. The fridge, traffic, dishes, footsteps. Some days I take them out because my brain is just done.
But a few days ago I caught a quiet joke from a friend without asking what. For some reason that stayed with me.
Maybe it’s not that everything is suddenly easy.
I’m just not guessing my way through every little thing anymore.