u/LivLiveArt

I'm finding myself haunted by certain songs from my 20+ years in the CoC. Some of them are... more upsetting than others.

Music has such a unique relationship with memory. There's a reason those memories can often survive even in people with dementia. Usually that's a good thing. But in the case of religious trauma... not so much.

Are there any songs that have stuck with you that you wish hadn't? Particularly malicious lyrics, unsettling in hindsight? Anything like that. (Also, any stories about the songs you sang coming in conflict with CoC doctrine or whatever? Considering so few of the songs were CoC originals. Idk how many CoCers realize that)

"Trust and Obey" and similar sentiments obviously give me the ick now. As do all the songs telling child me that I'm a worthless wretch whose only redeeming quality is knowing the right guy. But tbh? The song that is the worst for me is one we often sang in a kids class:

"Ananias and Sapphira got together to conspire a plot to cheat the church and get ahead.

They knew God's power but did not fear it, tried to cheat the Holy Spirit

Peter prophecied and then they both dropped dead!

God loves a cheerful giver, Give Him all you got

He loves to hear you laughing when you're in an awful spot

So when the odds are up against you and you cannot do a thing

Praise God! To praise Him is a joyful thing"

A peppy song about two people dropping dead because God hated that they kept some of their money, or something like that. It just unsettles me. Much like the original Baby Shark. Iykyk

My biomom once claimed that the CoC "doesn't do that" regarding my expectations of being excommunicated (in my case, for being trans.) Maybe she was gaslighting as usual, or maybe I used the wrong word. What I meant was "withdrawing fellowship".

I remember when I was a kid, the CoC I was at announced they were withdrawing fellowship with some lady I didn't know. I remember plenty of times that this practice was justified scripturally, as (as far as I understand it) the whole congregation would have to break off communication with this person. A last resort, after a bunch of steps where people try to talk to the person to convince them to "repent."

I've been watching some ex-Jehova's Witness videos, and learned more about shunning (a practice rightfully called out.) It seems like JW are perhaps more trigger-happy with it, and the fact they can make it where even parents need to shun children is horrific. But I feel I lack the firsthand knowledge to know if there's that many differences between how the CoC and JW do their disfellowshipping. Are they justifying it with the same scripture? Is it effectively the same practice, just with varying scope? Does anyone have the experience to be able to compare the two?

(As for me, I think I effectively cut myself off from the CoC enough to not have to go through this. But I guess we'll see. Doesn't really matter at this point, given I've blocked most of them.)

Does anyone here have any stories or experiences from attending Polishing the Pulpit?

I went as a teen in 2014 and 2015, and I look back on it with... a lot of horror. The science denial, the misogyny, the homophobia, the zionism... Basically everything you'd expect from the CoC. (I remember them encouraging us teens to mock "All About that Bass", and it took me nearly a decade to find out it was a body positivity song. Those teen classes are probably the most dangerous ones.)

But instead of it being taught to a single congregation, it was a whole near-weeklong convention that people traveled across the country to attend. It started as a preacher's convention, but now ​so it brings in many of the prominent speakers of the CoC (from Apologetics Press, WVBS, etc, as well as my childhood preacher who used to be on a CoC TV show)...

It makes me think, like... there's no governing body of the CoC, but there's still events like this meant to make the CoC fit a certain mold. They say they only follow the Bible, but considering it's these speakers who have generationally cultivated what the CoC thinks the Bible says... These speakers have a LOT of control, but hide it behind plausible deniability.

I wish there was a database where people would upload their flashdrives of PTP lessons (they handed them out both years I was there) so they could be studied. It would probably give about as clear of an idea as possible of what the mainline COC is doing/saying/teaching nowadays... I doubt it's changed much in the 11 years since I went to PTP, but considering MAGA happened since then... idk.

I did look through the schedule of this year's PTP though, and... a lot stood out. The usual bigotry, science denial, the teen classes about why you should fear hell, etc...

But also a lesson from a state officer about "the sin of breaking the law."

In 2026. Wow.

As usual, though, the thing that breaks my heart the most are those teen classes. And just knowing there's so many kids stuck in that enviornment. Queer kids, especially. No one should have to go through what I went through. Sure, the CoC will die eventually... But how many people, how many kids will die before it happens? The CoC has gone unchecked for far too long, and it makes me... so angry.

But yeah. I'd like to hear any experiences you might have with PTP. Things they taught, etc etc.

So I was reading the Pew Research Center's census stats for the first time today, and something caught my eye that's... confusing to me. And I'm wondering if anyone with more firsthand knowledge about this might have some insight.

I think we all are aware that the CoC was and still is... very racist. Not desegregating their colleges until the government forced them to, the continued systemic segregation of congregations... And now, though some of that might be less overt, the MAGA movement had brought white christian nationalism back to the forefront. Many in the CoC mourned Charlie Kirk like he was some great man and christian (which conflicts with the whole "one true church" thing) while ignoring his blatant horrific racism, and gaslighting the black CoC members who rightfully call it out.

So with all that said, According to Pew Research, the CoC has seen a major percentage drop in white CoC members, which... While I'm a big proponent of diversity, this confuses me given the aformentioned issues.

It lists the white percentage of the CoC at 76% in 2007, 68% in 2014, and a drop to 48% as of 2023/2024. Meanwhile the percentage of black CoC members was 13% in 2007, 16% in 2014, and a jump to 24% in 2023/2024.

So... what's going on here? I doubt the CoC is getting less racist to get more diversity in its membership. Then I remembered that the CoC... isn't getting more members. Barely, anyway. So these massive shifts in statistics have to be coming from people leaving.

The theory I've landed on is that, due to the (sigh) segregation and the congregationalist setup, the effect of the MAGA decade varies. If predominantly black congregations have been spared from it, perhaps there's less of a cultural shift to spark leaving. If the Trumpism is generally more intense in predominantly white congregations, that might lend to it. But that's perhaps a generous reading to assume people are leaving because of that. The christofascism has been under the surface this whole time, after all. The other thing that could have drastically affected stats would be, well, Covid.

Are there any friends here who used to go to predominantly black congregations able to offer some insight into what the MAGA situation was like, and whether anything was or wasn't affecting membership? And for those in the predominantly white congregations, does this reading of MAGA effecting CoC membership hold true?

If not, what might cause this percentage shift?

I'm trying to get a fuller understanding of the current situation of the CoC, and the ways and reasons in which it's dying (good riddance.) So I was hoping to hear from some firsthand sources.

Secondary question: According to the Pew Research Center, there is a female majority in the CoC. Granted, it's getting smaller (which implies more women are leaving than men, which makes sense. I'd assume marginalized communities oppressed by the system would be the first to leave.) Yet it's still the majority. Meanwhile Pew also shows a male majority in Mormonism, which... is interesting. What do you think is the difference between these two high-control patriarchal groups that lends to their respective gender ratios?

Thanks. <3