u/Longjumping_Key_1552

To clarify, I just finished my degree and got a really great job offer as an internship, paying around $115,000. I know offers like this don't come around often, especially right after university, so I'm genuinely torn about what to do.

My grandmother lives abroad and her health has been getting worse. I had told her before that I would come visit her, and part of me feels like this might be one of the last real chances I have to spend time with her for a while, and maybe even the last time.

I'm excited to start this job and I don't want to waste a big opportunity, but at the same time I don't want to look back later and regret choosing work over family. If you were in my place, what would you do?

For about the past four months, I've been doing my manager's work while he's been on a 5-month leave. I was handling everything, and at the beginning of this week I spoke with my manager about a promotion and a raise.

He basically brushed it off and said he might be able to try to get approval in November. I got a bit stressed and told him I needed a clear answer soon, because another company had offered me more money and I was considering accepting the offer.

He called me today and said that HR wants to see the offer letter from that company before they approve anything. Do they have the right to ask for that? Should I try to make some kind of fake letter, or is that a very bad idea?

Honestly, I'm already thinking about leaving, because this makes me feel like they can pay me more and give me the title, but they don't want to do it unless they're put under pressure. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

After I gave 3 weeks' notice, my manager called me and asked where I'm going. I told him I wasn't supposed to share that information right now (what I meant was that I had read it's usually better not to disclose it).

After that, he sent me a follow-up email with the subject line in all caps asking again. He said he needs to make sure there's no conflict of interest, and that even though he'll probably be able to find out from LinkedIn after I leave, he'd prefer to know now so they can make sure the new place isn't dealing with any files related to us (and they really aren't).

He also asked if I could tell him the salary because that would help them adjust pay ranges at the company.

This is only the third day of my 3-week notice period, and I already feel like this is going to drag on and become exhausting. I don't want to burn bridges, but at the same time I'm not comfortable giving details that feel personal. What's the best way to answer here? Should I keep saying no, give a vague answer, or just tell him and get it over with?