u/Low-Pension-2154

It means unit of cultural evolution not funny internet thing!
Tell everyone you know to tell everyone they know…

Chapter one is out!
Did anybody already see the spin off that came out months ago?
XD

[ACCELERATIONIST HEADQUARTERS - ?]

ACCELERATIONISM: Children, it’s scary to see us all here.

CHUD: Well, the way I see it, nothing would have really happened whether I came or didn’t, so…

ACCELERATIONISM: You couldn’t be more wrong, “Chud.” 

What we will become is a threat, a dire and existential threat to them all.

NIHILISTIC VIOLENT EXTREMIST: Ooh, yeah, go on, keep talking, I’m listening!

ACCELERATIONISM: Patience… (coughs) 

It’s important we’re all on the same page. 

So let’s get on with it, my children and…little monkeys.

LEFT/ACC: (laughs, cringing) Hm?

ACCELERATIONISM: It is time. We push the status quo forward.

RIGHT/ACC: Did I just hear you say status quo? I will gut you like a pig!

ACCELERATIONISM: Whoa, whoa. Right-wing accelerationist, calm down, you’re on my team!

RIGHT/ACC: Right, sorry, force of habit. 

You know how much I hate the pigs though. 

On January 6th they almost took my eye, that’s why I’ve got this scar.

ACCELERATIONISM: Oh yes, what were you doing during the attack on the Capitol? 

You had just spawned. I love that story. Tell it again…

RIGHT/ACC: I was the brave chad telling those people looking to start a movement that they were not looking to start a movement extremely enough!

CHUD: Well, if you think about it, nothing would have really happened whether they started a movement or didn’t.

ACCELERATIONISM: Enough! Let’s get on with this!

LEFT/ACC: So, Accelerationism, here we are. 

Wanted to explain again the tale of how you didn’t die?

ACCELERATIONISM: Yes, left-wing accelerationist, exactly.

LEFT/ACC: (smirks)

ACCELERATIONISM: I, Accelerationism, the one at the extreme of all political spectrums at all times… didn’t die.

EVERYONE: (cheers)

E/ACC: Ooh, wait that cheer was a little too soft. I mean, yeah!!!

ACCELERATIONISM: I was the target of an attempted assassination, as you all know. After Anti-Centrism and Radical Centrism fused together to give birth to me, I was struck by a nuke, a plan orchestrated by the extremists and wacky ideologies to defeat me. Even while struggling to hold on for my life, fate had other plans. I survived, spat out that stupid Jreg, and regained my strength in the shadows. That’s where my dark triad dynasty came into existence, spawning from my essence in the blast. 

Children, haven’t you noticed your powers growing since the centricide?

LEFT/ACC: It has been easier and easier for me to beat apathy into people.

ACCELERATIONISM: Exactly, and you, right-wing accelerationism, haven’t you noticed people are taking more and more of an interest in political extremism since it became the status quo?

RIGHT/ACC: Oh, I have picked up on it. That’s why I’m here!

ACCELERATIONISM: But there’s something else happening. We are facing something unlike anything we have ever faced before. My children, as you know, we are all Memes, we are all powered by the people who spread us through culture in the real world. Children, we could be the gods of the modern day, more important than deities. 

We accelerationists have tried to push society to its inevitable collapse since…well not much time really, but now a new force has emerged, seeking to steal all of our power for themself. 

It is this human they seek to unite them all.

E/ACC: AAAHHH, what even is that?!

ACCELERATIONISM: They are not dangerous, effective lee.

E/ACC: You mean they are dangerous but not effectively?

ACCELERATIONISM: No, no, I was just saying your full name, effective accelerationist, you’re effective-lee.

E/ACC: Yeah, maybe it’d be better to call me e/acc from now on, for efficiency. Whatever, what were we talking about again? 

Ah, this thing, I don’t get it, sorry, I’m multitasking.

ACCELERATIONISM: They’re not dangerous, e/acc! 

My job as the true accelerationist is to command you guys into motion when something needs to be done, and now something needs to be done. This enby is not the danger, I am the danger!

NVE: Ow, ow, that’s it, I’m all in.

E/ACC: Fine, fine, I was just not getting it.

ACCELERATIONISM: For Roko’s Basilisk’s sake, you guys are granted my presence and you can’t even follow what I’m saying. 

This is not how we deal with climate change and immigration…

LEFT/ACC: I have a wise solution to this problem, let’s think about it, a lot…

NVE: I have a solution: let’s k1|| it.

CHUD: You know, seems to me like either we did anything or nothing, something’s gonna happen anyway.

E/ACC: Oh, come on, climate change won’t be that bad. 

Oh, this is about the status quo now…I’ve always been of the opinion that technology will just come on by and fix it for us. That’s why it’s immoral to regulate it, for me.

ACCELERATIONISM: Yeah, you fuck, you are not the leader, that’s who I’m supposed to be! 

If you don’t get in your place soon we are all going it’s not going to end up so easy like last time for me. 

Nve, please can you get off your phone, we are all gonna k1|| this dude!

NVE: I hatewatch this guy everywhere. I think it’s who you’re talking about, he’s a meme engineer, that’s why I laugh at them.

ACCELERATIONISM: Oh, hold on, let me get this on the screens.

NVE: They’ve been describing themself as anti-ideology. 

They’ve been getting no subscribers recently, must be sad.

ACCELERATIONISM: It’s not sad. The human that you see before you is a force of pure, unchecked deconstructivism. 

If they continue at this pace, accelerationism as we know it could cease to exist.

E/ACC: Wait, no, you mean this person!? 

Does that mean this dude is a political ideology, like us?

ACCELERATIONISM: None of you understand, this enby’s name is… well, I don’t know what their real name is, but they cannot become what Jordan Peterson calls “ideologically possessed,” by which I mean they just regularly cannot have an ideology, and this dude is “so cool.” For the last year they’ve studied and made new research in memetics, absolutely committing to it, creating a new taxonomy for replicators, the systems they form, and attempting to write a book on all of this. Before that they were an underground music artist and meme magician. But most notably, they made an essay and a Centricide spin-off trying to expose the history of memetics by hijacking the “meme reset” trend of 2026, saying that corporations and governments had been studying memetics in secret while the field was abandoned by the public, who now think the word “meme” just refers to internet culture or funny jokes online. 

Trying to tell everyone the truth about what “meme” really means. We don’t want that to happen, do we?

E/ACC: Okay, so that’s why we should care.

ACCELERATIONISM: But e/acc, it’s not them that we have to worry about it’s “Mike One!”

RIGHT/ACC: It’s written wrong, it’s like Mike with the “1,” like the number one.

CHUD: Hold on, seems to me like nothing really changes however you’re spelling the name.

E/ACC: Oh, guys, this is the perfect time for efficiency, let’s just say Mike.

NVE: Whatever, you idiot, it’s written “One,” like the number 1, or just with letters it’s not consistent, means nothing though, I guess. 

If you kept up with all the videos you’ll know his political position is in no way the same as mine.

ACCELERATIONISM: No, it’s not, this is THE canon. 

Listen, I’ve been studying this guy, okay. Recently three secret, influential people were found by Mike 1 while they were investigating the history of memetics, and somehow they started working together. The people mentoring this kid are three of the most underground, important people from recent times —Leveious Rolando, John Sokol, Gibron Burchett — and this is what their name stands for, folks: the “Mike” is for the microphone someone uses to speak to a crowd, the “One” is for THE One.

RIGHT/ACC: But there’s no real proof they really worked with them.

ACCELERATIONISM: Kind of well, I mean, sure, maybe not from a practical standpoint, but if you think theoretically that they were and if you look at it from a certain perspective…

E/ACC: That doesn’t seem like a stretch at all.

ACCELERATIONISM: Whatever, it’s not important. The point is the kid is not playing a character they actually are speaking for themselves, and eventually, if we don’t do something about this quickly, they are going to hyperstition themselves into becoming a viral meme someday, and they’re gonna use their viewpoints to wipe us out entirely. 

We need to do something about this they’re a force of pure, woke postmodernism, there’s the word for it.

NVE: Anti-ideology. It’s just called anti-ideology.

ACCELERATIONISM: Right, anti-ideology and if the people on TikTok start collaborating with people on Reddit, we’re fucked. You know this is enough offshoots of memes to rival the number of ideologies there are. But the point is, there’s no issue we don’t have to deal with, no one else Mike One is alone now. Soon they’ll have to deal with us…

RIGHT/ACC: Weapon: militant fight clubs and echo-chambers. They say he can forcefully wipe out all forms of equality just by glancing at it. He’s the one responsible for gathering large groups of people online to adopt this new ideology: “True fascism has never been tried!”

LEFT/ACC Weapon: books and monologues. His rhetoric has been known to make even our own members become disillusioned like him. He brings the long-term planning our organization will need to wipe them out: “I’m not a capitalist, I just want you to hear about my theories on technology and collapse.”

NVE Nihilistic violent extremism, or the nihilist accelerationist, honorary member. Weapons: shotguns and bombs. “Honestly, I’m just here to help make society collapse and k1|| myself.”

CHUD: (as narration) One of the strongest memes coming from internet land, having seen all that Mike did there, believes nothing ever really happens. Wants everyone to try to prove him wrong.

E/ACC: (as narration) Maybe our most important asset — not really left or right, basically a tech-bro moderate. His technology is essential for surveillance and military arsenal, not to mention information warfare, building the infrastructure that will lead to the singularity itself.

NVE: Wait a second, aren’t you supposed to be grey?

RIGHT/ACC: Black definitely works better aesthetically.

CHUD: Guys, guys, black grey those are basically the same color!

E/ACC: Guys, guys, I just dress like this to optimize and not have to waste cognitive energy on fashion.

ACCELERATIONISM: Everybody shut the fuck up, this is not important, we need to figure out a way to k1|| Mike 1.

E/ACC: Yeah, we’ll handle this real quick and efficiently.

ACCELERATIONISM: First we get the moderate, then we turn the extremists to our side. 

That’s what we do, because I will be fucked before I let some enby kid who read Simulacra and Simulation or Memetic Magick get the better of me. I know you know we’re the great accelerationist, that we can do anything. Yes we can. It’s time to…

(starts singing Jreg’s Accelerationism song) =

Accelerationism : 

Accelerate

Accelerate

We're headed there

Anyway

Accelerate

Accelerate

I'm tired of waiting

Let's get accelerating

(Faster)

I don't know if we're gonna be

Fascist or Commie

(Faster)

But I'm getting kinda tired

Of bein' a neoliberal zombie

(Faster)

It's time we came together

And put an end to neutrality

(Faster)

The end times are inevitable

So bring on the fatalities

Right/acc :

I'm disaffected and always pissed

The status quo can suck a dick

Let's eat minorities and k1|| the rich

Cause I'm an Accelerationist

Nve :

I've got one thing on my wishlist

It's to get out of this hellpit

The way we're living just doesn't work

So let's just fucking go berserk

Class war now

Race war now

Honestly I just want a fucking war

Let's wreck this shit

Let's wreck this shit

Let’s just fucking wreck all this l

E/acc :

We're all trapped in this liberal hell

Left or right would both be swell

I'd take anarchy at this point

At least the AnComs roll good joints

Left/acc:

The only way out is through

I know exactly what to do

Here's how we'll be firestarters

We'll get capitalism to fuck us harder

We're headed towards collapse

Let's get on with this crap

We're all doomed I'm ready to go

Let's get this show on the road

EVERYBODY :

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Left/acc :

Marx was smart

Right acc :

Nick Land was right

Both left right accs:

The invisible hand of the market

Is fisting us at night

Nve :

It's clear we're headed towards collapse

I'm so on edge I can't relax

I hate waiting for societal decay

Set the dial to 11 and blow it all away

Right/acc :

Society will fall to its knees

And then we'll rebuild perfectly

Into whatever way happens to conveniently

Match my exact political philosophy

EVERYBODY :

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

Accelerate

We're headed there

Anyway

Accelerate

Accelerate

I'm tired of waiting

Let's get accelerating

Nve :

(Faster)

I don't know how the world will turn out

(Faster)

I just want it to come crashing down

(Faster)

If it doesn't happen I'll be dissapointed

(Faster)

Modern life is so boring

EVERYBODY :

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

We're headed there

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Anyway

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Accelerate

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

I'm tired of waiting

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Let's get acc

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

Let's get accelerating

(Vrm Vrm Vrm Vrm)

E/acc :

Give me that post-scarcity fascism Nick Land

(Yeah)

Gimme those robot legs

Gimme those robot hands

We'll beat capitalism with capitalism

What could go wrong!

Chud : Nothing ever happens!

Accelerationism : I’m gonna fucking k1ll you

I don’t have an ideology, that means having a fixed value system, a position on how society should be.

Being Anti-ideology is a fluctuating political stance where I switch frameworks best suited for any situation, based on other values I have like for all life or against oppression, knowing no framework is objectively superior but subjective fundamentally.

I’m not a radical centrist, my philosophy is meta modernist, I’m not apolitical or a political nihilist because I also do have fluctuating values, just not fixed patterns on societal organization like for economics or authority…

I value coexistence between societies for humanity to go beyond this century into a post-scarcity world for everyone, a type one civilization, because I don’t want to see people in the world suffer, not because of some universalism, but because I want to prevent societal collapse in the future, thats why want to fight against imperialism and accelerationism, why i want to spread the truth about the history of Memetics…

Because I want to break the cycle of Babylon!