u/LuckyJournalist7

“I would just like to announce that it is Halloween now. Uh, this may come as a surprise to some of you, given that it is July, but..”

He knows exactly what he's doing. I really don’t think we’re close enough to be pooping in front of each other yet.

Certainly he doesn't care.. but I do..

Do I just keep talking to him like this is normal? Light a match? I intrinsically want to avoid eye contact when he strains..

FWIW, I’m the homeowner and he doesn’t pay rent. He’s a massive mothman.

I also place him in my car and pretend I am just the driver chauffeuring him around town when I run errands.

When he was in the backseat, I told the ticket taker at a drive through zoo that my other friend and I who were sitting upfront were just the assistants “for the guy in the back”.

He also takes up half of my queen size bed or an entire recliner.

He was one of two Squishaversary miracles for me this year.

I know he has zero bathroom manners, but I’m living a fine life.

What do I do?

There’s a fan on the Discord who will change your Unicorn Baby Mothman’s hooves into feet. Why? Cosmetic reasons mostly, but also it gives your Unicorn Mothman the ability to grab things (in your imagination).