Saying goodbye to our 24 year old baby
We’re saying goodbye to our sweet baby tomorrow. We’ve spent the past week with her, letting her eat whatever she wants, hugging her, and crying. She had her 24th birthday on the 3rd, and things went downhill so fast after that. Personality wise, she’s her amazing self. But her arthritis is so bad. I know this is the right thing for her, but my heart is so broken. I’ve had her for over half my life. She’s been my best friend for so long. I just don’t know how to say goodbye. *I just wanted to add the junk food is from this morning. She has always had a very healthy diet.
Edited to add her name is Foosa ❤️ Thank you so much to everyone for your love and support. I’m reading all your comments and crying.
I know I didn’t go into a whole lot of detail, but her arthritis is so bad that she can’t hold herself steady to eat anymore. She falls over when walking sometimes, or gives up all together and just lays down. We tried laser treatments last month, and it helped a little bit. But she took a sudden turn right after her birthday. Since it got so bad, I have been pushing her around the house in her stroller so she can always be with us. Making this decision is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Seeing her like this, when she’s always been so active and happy, broke my heart for her. Shes so tired all the time now, and I can see how much pain she’s in.
*Second Edit I really wanted to express my gratitude to everyone that’s reached out. I’ve been reading everything, and hopefully I can slowly start responding. When I first posted, I was so sad and scared that I could hardly get my thoughts in order. Now I’m so sad that I can hardly do much of anything. But I would like to share a little bit more about my Foosy baby.
I got her when I was a teenager. I’ve had her for most of my life. Every difficult thing I’ve been through, she’s been there. When I met my husband, she instantly fell in love with him. The three of us have been a family ever since. She was always with us. She followed us around everywhere, and hated to be left out. She was so vocal, she was always meowing and purring. We talked to her like she was people, and I would always sing and dance with her. She loved attention just as much as she loved food. She always had a healthy appetite, but never had any interest in human food until she turned 20. Then it was a battle to keep her away from our plates, or to keep her from knocking food out of our hands. Even durning her last few weeks, it’s like she would get super hero strength to try and get to our food. She would get big black cartoon eyes, and we always had to give her a little bite… how could anyone resist that face??
3 years ago, she was diagnosed with stage one kidney disease. I was devastated, I had no idea what that would mean for her. Thankfully, we were able to treat it with diet and subcutaneous fluids once a week. We took her in for a senior pet check up every six months, and her kidney disease never progressed. They were actually times where her values improved. She always hovered between late stage one, and early stage two.
Earlier this year, we noticed she was losing weight, even though she was eating so much. At her senior pet check up in March, they couldn’t find any reason for it. Her labs actually came back pretty much perfect, and her kidney values had improved again at that point. Her vet joked that she should be studied for science. I was so happy, all I wanted was for her to be comfortable, happy, and healthy.
Since March, things started changing rapidly. Her weight kept dropping, and her arthritis was getting so bad. She had arthritis for about the last two years, and we had tried Solensia to see if that would help. It made her super nauseous, so we agreed to not go further with the injections. I started carrying her around the house more, to ease her joins a little. She never stopped following us around the house, even in the end. But it was harder and harder for her. So I would just carry her with me wherever I was going to be.
In July we decided to try laser therapy to see if that helped her pain. It really did help a little, but I also think it was too far progressed by then. It was all happening so fast. About two and a half weeks ago, I brought her in for her senior pet check up to get another look at labs since things had changed so much. For the first time in her life, they found quite a few concerning things. (Ironically, her kidney values were still stable) I was devastated and scared. I always swore I wouldn’t allow her to suffer. We didn’t want to put her through any further testing. And to be honest, if it was just those underlying issues, I would’ve kept her as comfortable as possible and supported her as long as it seemed right. But with her arthritis, being as bad as it was, she had no strength or energy to fight. By that weekend she mostly stopped eating. She would try, but she had such a hard time holding herself up. I did everything I could to assist her. I would hold her dish up, let her eat out of my hand, prop her dishes up with towels, sit with her while she ate…everything worked just a little bit. But it wasn’t enough. She was still really excited about food. I actually have the cutest picture of her from last weekend when I was cooking her ground beef, and she’s sitting in her stroller next to me while I was cooking, reaching up, trying to get to it. But she only had a bite or two. She was just in too much pain to eat. By Monday morning, when it was her 3rd day of not really eating, my husband and I made the decision that we would have to say goodbye Friday. We both took the week off work and spent every second with her. I also spent a lot of time cooking for her, trying to get her to eat anything. She was excited about it all, but would sway or her legs would give out if she was on her feet took long. It was so hard for her to get around, so I would bring her to her dishes and try to get her to eat. All she wanted to do was be held, and she would climb into my lap instead.
I stayed up with her all night on her last night. I held her, talked to her, cried, and we watched arrested Development. Being on the couch with us watching TV was her favorite. She was quiet and calm. We noticed on Tuesday that she had quit meowing for the most part. This was a kitty that even two weeks ago, never ran out of things to say. But she was still staring up at me, purring, and occasionally reaching up and touching my face with her little paw. I was hoping something would happen that night. That maybe she would somehow miraculously recover, and we could call everything off. I took her to her litter box and food dishes every few hours that night. She never ate or drank, and went to the bathroom once.
I knew would could probably put it off. Have a few more days with her. But she was getting too weak and skinny. You would never know, because she was so fluffy, but on her last morning she weighed 3.6. She had lost a few ounces since her blood draw two weeks ago, and at that point I was already concerned about her weight loss. We just couldn’t let her keep getting smaller.
She was so happy with us, content, felt safe….but she was also so tired. She fought as hard as she could. My husband and I also gave it our everything to make sure she was always happy and healthy.
I know 24 years is incredible. But it’s also all I’ve ever known. We were always a team, she was the thing I was most proud of. I really don’t even know what to do without her. I keep expecting her to come around the corner. I keep hearing her.
We’ve spent the last few days crying and talking about all the memories and what ifs. I’m hoping there might be some comfort in having her back with us. We ordered most of the memorial pieces they offered, along with some things we’re going to do ourselves.
Having this little kitty in my life was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was so funny, self assured, loving, and happy. If I would sing in the shower, she would be right there with me howling. She could be sleeping so heavy in her room, and if I sat down somewhere in the house, she always knew. She would be wide awake and in my lap within 30 seconds.
She definitely took a huge piece of us with her. She will always be missed.