Burnt out and frustrated
Burnt out studying for COMSAE and honestly just need to vent
I’m not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this—maybe advice, encouragement, or just people who understand what this process feels like.
I’m still studying for my school’s required COMSAE, and I need a 450 to move forward. I took my most recent school COMSAE on August 10th and scored a 445. Being 5 points away should probably make me feel hopeful, but instead it completely broke me. I ended up going to the ER because I was so overwhelmed knowing that I have one final attempt in September to get the score I need or I could be dismissed.
I’ve talked to my counselor, friends, and family, and everyone tells me some version of the same thing: “You’re so close. You only need a few more points. Don’t give up now.”
And I know they mean well. Logically, I understand what they’re saying. A 445 means I’m close.
But mentally, I’m exhausted.
Lately, it has been so hard to stay engaged while doing practice questions. Sometimes I catch myself reading a question just to read it. I’ll get through a paragraph and realize I didn’t actually process anything. Studying used to feel like I was working toward something, and now some days it feels like I’m just forcing myself to keep going because I don’t have another option.
The mental toll of this whole process has also made me question myself in ways I didn’t expect. I find myself wondering, If this is affecting me this much, am I actually capable of becoming a doctor? I know one exam isn’t supposed to define me, but when your ability to stay in medical school is tied to one score, it’s really hard for it not to feel that way.
And honestly, one of the hardest parts has been how isolating this feels. Everyone around me wants to encourage me, but unless you’ve been in the position of repeatedly studying for these exams while knowing your future in medical school depends on the next score, I don’t know if it’s possible to fully understand how exhausting it becomes.
That’s really why I’m making this post. I know I need to keep going, and I’m trying. I’m just tired.
If anyone has been in a similar situation—especially having to keep studying for a COMSAE after months of board prep—how did you get yourself mentally engaged again when you felt completely burnt out?