u/Maleficent_Ant4957

What are people's general experiences of secondary school in Ireland? Do you keep in touch with people from your year?

I recently moved back into my parents' house in my hometown, and I think I'm subconsciously feeling anxious because of my secondary school experience.

I was painfully shy and didn't have many friends. I wasn't bullied by any means, but I always felt like I was on the periphery. I had a small group of friends, and I was very close to one guy who eventually admitted he liked me. When I turned him down, he became quite cruel. We had been so close that I think he knew a lot of my insecurities, and he'd use them against me, making comments about things like not having anyone to sit with at lunch. Eventually, I felt pushed out of the little group I had.

We stayed in touch a bit during college, but apart from that, I haven't really kept in contact with anyone from school.

Is that a fairly normal experience? Whenever I'm home at Christmas and go out, it feels like so many friendship groups have stayed close since secondary school, and it makes me wonder if my experience was unusual.

Thankfully, I really came out of my shell in college and made lots of great friends there. I'm 28 now, so school was a long time ago, but I still find myself wishing I'd been different back then. I wish I'd had the confidence to come out of my shell more and mix with the more popular groups. Looking back, I think I was probably just terrified of rejection.

I've been dwelling on all of this a lot since moving home, and I'm wondering if anyone else feels the same or has had a similar experience.

I (28F) and my boyfriend (29M) have been together nearly 3 years. We dated in college but broke up in covid, we reconnected when I moved back to his city for my masters.

We lived abroad last year as I got a job and he moved over with me. He did not adjust well, couldn't get a job while we were over there and his mental health ( and mine by extension) really suffered. I got a job back in ireland and we moved back home early after about 9 months. However, we both moved back into our parents houses in separate counties as it was too much to put both of us in one of their homes. Also I think it was a nice opportunity to have a breather.

Its now 10 months on, he's improved alot he's got a job in the hospitality sector near where he's from and is going to counselling, he also got a diagnosis with adhd and is now medicated for that.

Ive been at home with my family for 10 months and am anxious to be a bit more independent and move out. Ive had the conversation with him a couple of times about moving together close to where his job is as mine is remote. Its a really nice town on the west coast with lots going on. He said it sounds nice but I get the impression he wants to put it off. He doesnt seem to be in any hurry to move back in with me, and im wondering is this a bad sign?

We've had the talk about the future in general and he said he would like to be with me long term and would love to get married. But it feels like everytime I try to bring up moving back in together he puts it off. A friend of his is leaving a house in a different city and he tried to convince me that I should take her room ( by myself) as he thinks I would be happier being out of my home house.... but is quite happy not to move with me and just visit on his days off.

The previous year living together when his mental health was poor really tested our relationship, but I'd really like to try again now that he has a job and is getting the help he needs. I'm not really sure anymore what my question is, just looking for advice/ opinions I guess.

What's the worst/most dramatic friend breakup you've ever had?

I had a big one a couple of years ago and reflecting on it is making me sad.