u/Man_Against_TheWorld

A while ago I saw this really cringy image that was trying to be funny. It showed a feminist making a “feminist critique”, a bunch of squiggly lines representing her essay except for one part that said “entire section on how it affects men.” Then this commenter named “totally not a misogynist” replied with “but what about how it affects men?”

I cringed, but I was also left scratching my head and it got me thinking. Every “feminist critique” I’ve seen either doesn’t mention or barely mentions men’s issues at all, or worse outright demonizes them. At most, they might spend a single sentence giving lip service to the way men are affected but then ignore it for the rest of it. I’m always hearing about how “patriarchy hurts men too” or “feminism helps men” but actions speak louder than words, or in this case lack of actions. When has feminism actually helped men? Not give lip service without actual depth, but actually speak out and fight for change.

One other thing is in the comments I saw some people go “why do people expect men’s issues in a feminist essay?” You’re the ones always saying that feminism is about equality and that patriarchy hurts men too, you can’t blame people for doubting those claims when you don’t practice what you preach.

Whenever someone talks about how men’s emotions are either ignored or mocked, there are two responses. The first is to blame it on “patriarchy” and “toxic masculinity”. The second is to complain about “women having to carry their emotional labor”.

I fucking hate this term. It’s just a way for women to dismiss men’s emotions while disguising it as a burden for women. It implies that mothers, girlfriends, friends and wives shouldn’t be concerned for the wellbeing of their partners, friends and children, which is super toxic. If someone starting any kind of relationship with someone else expects to put in zero work, they shouldn’t be in any kind of relationship.

“Emotional labor” is one of the most blatant forms of misandry, and anyone using it is a terrible person.

That’s something I’ve never understood. In what way does talking about Men’s issues automatically mean going against women’s issues? Especially if feminism is about equality, then shouldn’t men’s issues matter too?

When I asked a feminist why they’re against talking about men’s issues, they responded by saying that women have it worse so therefore we shouldn’t focus on men’s issues. They used an analogy of someone getting hit by a bus vs getting a scraped knee. But that analogy fails apart when you realize that hospitals treat all kinds of injuries and sickness regardless of the severity. Even if women have it worse, that shouldn’t stop men’s issues from being discussed. You can care about both.

Speaking for myself, I sympathize a lot with the issues women face, but I also sympathize with the issues men face, it’s really not that hard.