Kashmiri Pandits: Is this actually a tradition, or is it just specific to some families?
Hi everyone,
I’m hoping to hear from Kashmiri Pandits or people who have married into Kashmiri Pandit families.
I’m in a serious relationship with a Kashmiri Pandit, and recently someone told my mother something that has made her quite anxious. They claimed that in many Kashmiri Pandit families, a son and daughter-in-law don’t attend functions together or go out together while the parents (especially the in-laws) are alive. They also said that daughters-in-law are often not taken along to family functions.
This sounded very unusual to me, and I haven’t personally seen anything like this with my boyfriend or his family. However, since it came from someone who said they had observed it in their residential society, my parents are worried that it might be a common community practice.
So I wanted to ask:
- Have you ever heard of such a tradition?
- Is this a community-wide custom, or is it limited to a few conservative families?
- If you’re a Kashmiri Pandit or married into a Kashmiri Pandit family, what has your experience been?
I’m not looking to judge anyone’s customs—I’m just trying to understand whether this is actually a common practice or whether it’s being generalized from a few families.
I’d really appreciate honest experiences rather than assumptions. Thank you!