u/Medical_Chain_1434

Heavy spoilers for the anime, wraith arc and rebellion, if you have not watched the anime and rebellion + read the Wraith arc i advice not to read this, it contains a lot of spoilers, that could ruin the first time watching experience and it makes more sense when the anime and movie have been watched and the wraith arc has been read, since I won't go into every detail

This will be a bit long, I will talk about Homura in lore and a bit about how I feel about her.

I am still no lore specialist, so this will definitely contain mistakes and I tend to have a bit of a dramatic writing style. Please excuse that.

Lastly I want to say that I made some horrible mistakes in my last essay and this is my way to apologise to Homura.

*Moemura*

Homura Akemi, a girl separated from the world, a heart disease making it impossible for her to leave the hospital, to make friends. She leaves the hospital and immediately joins school, she isn’t used to it, she hasn't gone to school in years and now she is pushed to do it. She stands in front of a crowd, knowing no one, the teacher pushing her to introduce herself. But then there is this girl, a light in the darkness, Madoka Kaname. Madoka was confident, Madoka was strong, when faced with trouble or her own faults, she smiled, she continued fighting, she became the hero of Homura, making her feel happy, safe, and protected. And this hero even complimented her and said her name was cool. But most importantly, she wanted to be Homura's friend, Homura had no friends and then there is this girl just casually skipping formalities with her, declaring them friends. Mami couldn’t replicate this, she wasn’t as open as Madoka and she wasn't the first. Then catastrophe, Walpurgisnacht, Madoka dies, Homura's beloved hero gone. So she wishes to return in time and meet Madoka again. Here I'm going to talk about why this wish was Homura's only option. I myself claimed she should have just wished for Madoka to be revived, but what then? Madoka is alive, Homura gets something like healing magic, then another powerful witch appears, Homura defends Madoka, dies, then Madoka dies, plain simple and hard. But why exactly did she choose her wish, also simple, she wanted to return to Madoka what she had given to Homura, the feeling of being protected and safe. So she goes back in time.

She returns, she tries to help… and fails miserably. No one believes her, they think she is crazy, she has to act silently now, knowing of the impending doom and she even has to witness Madoka, her idol, fall into complete despair and witch out. She tried to warn the holy quintet that magical girls turn to witches, they didn’t believe her and when they witnessed it, Mami shattered, killing Kyouko, attempting to kill Homura, only to be killed by Madoka. This made Homura aware of the fact that Mami cannot be fully trusted, she knew Mami was strong and when she lashes out, extremely dangerous. Then another key moment, Homura and Madoka almost witching out, Madoka claiming that she had no grief seed, but using Sayaka's to save Homura, then asking Homura to protect her from being tricked by Kyubey. Thus Homura’s purpose was now set in stone. She had to be the ideal hero for Madoka, that’s why she decided to remove her braids and glasses, becoming a hero to Madoka.

Kyouko and Sayaka are important too. Sayaka represented idealism, fighting for an ideal world that simply doesn’t exist, shattering each time being in pain and Homura hated that. She knew that those ideals were impossible, she genuinely tried protecting Sayaka, not only for Madoka's happiness, but Sayaka’s own stubbornness made it almost impossible, she wanted to protect Sayaka from her worst enemy, herself, her own ideals she could never reach, thus driving her into despair. Meanwhile Kyouko is someone Homura can trust, she made a wish for someone else and deeply regrets it, in the end it caused suffering and pain upon her. Her father gained a following, but after finding out how he killed himself and Kyouko's family. In a way, Homura relates to Kyouko through this wish, knowing how much suffering and regret can come with a carelessly placed wish. Most importantly Kyouko came to terms with the fact that her wish was flawed. She realised she should have made the wish for herself, something Homura understands. Her wish led to tragedy when her father discovered that it was the reason he gained success in the first place.

*Cool Homura*

She laid off her feelings, focusing on protecting Madoka, every time she failed, her feelings dulled more, her strategy changed, she tried everything, she saw every possible scenario, but she couldn’t stop, she couldn’t leave Madoka to that fate. Homura reached cycle 100, 12 painful years of doing the same things over and over again. The only difference, she failed even though she was better prepared, more weapons, more knowledge, more things that do not work. Worst of all, because she looped for Madoka, she gave her more potential, the incubators wanted her more. Again she warned everyone, again she searched for help, again she tried to stop Madoka from becoming a magical girl, but in the end, again she faced Walpurgisnacht alone. Until something changed. Madoka stepped in, making her final wish, “destroy all witches before they were ever born”. She becomes Madokami and has one final talk with Homura, begging her to not go through with her wish, but Madoka refuses, she becomes the saviour of the magical girls. A new universe was born, no witches, but wraiths, Homura, the only one remembering a girl named Madoka, but not even certain she truly exists, now she has the power to change memories, rather than change time.

The Wraith Arc is important because it further develops the characters and their relationships, but most importantly, it highlights Homura’s pain. She remembers Madoka, yet no one else does, not even Madoka’s own family. Homura is left questioning whether her memories are even real. She doesn’t know that Madoka has become a goddess watching over magical girls, leaving her trapped in uncertainty and grief. At one point, a wraith even takes Madoka’s form, forcing Homura to confront her longing. In the end, she is confronted by something even more painful: her own past. A witch-like existence emerges after a wraith absorbs the remnants of a witch sealed inside Homura’s shield. The shield, once the symbol of Homura’s wish to protect Madoka, had now become tied to the very thing she hated most. To stop it, Homura destroys her own shield, sacrificing the tool that allowed her to protect Madoka in the first place. In doing so, time resets once again

Now more certain that Madoka exists, that there is this beautiful person, a person forever separated from Homura, a person she tried to save just to be split up forever, slowly grief crawled into her soul, she slowly turned into a witch, but before Madoka could reach her, she was caught, by the incubators, wanting to learn about the information Homura gave them, about witches and about the Law of Cycle, about Madoka.

Rebellion is the part where I made heavy mistakes and missed crucial plot points and that hurts on a personal level for me now. For more than one reason, I love analyzing and I love Homura, so getting Rebellion fundamentally wrong is like a punch in the gut for me. So, I try to make things right and redeem myself, at least a bit.

The start of Rebellion is beautiful fan service, but this fan service is crucial for Homura, because it shows what she truly desires. She is not cool homura, but Moemura, though a bit more confident. Sayaka isn’t a witch, Mami is alive, Kyouko is confident and well and most importantly: Madoka is happy and safe, even as a magical girl, she even acts like the first Madoka, confident and heroic. That is what Homura always wanted, not needing to dull her own feelings, fighting alongside her friends in a world without witches, a world where Homura could forget her past and live a happy life and everyone else can too. Even their enemies, the nightmares are not as bad as witches. They spawn from the despair of people, but when killed the creator doesn’t die too, they feel better when the nightmare is defeated.

Homura notices that something is fundamentally wrong with that world and more importantly, something is wrong about Madoka being there and starts her investigation. Her investigation leads her to the conclusion that she is in a witches labyrinth, which is when she again removes her braids and glasses to be cool Homura, the hero of Madoka. Her first step is to interrogate Bebe, a witch that was in that labyrinth, she wants to know how that is even possible, considering that Madoka erased all witches before they were even born. She confronts Bebe which causes a confrontation with Mami to ensue. Sayaka and Bebe intervene, Bebe trying to explain the situation to Mami, while Sayaka tries to reason with Homura. Sayaka tries to explain that maybe the witch behind the labyrinth isn’t bad after all, since they are all living in bliss, but Homura doesn’t try to understand. Meanwhile, Sayaka shows Homura that she can summon Octavia, meaning she is a part of the Law of Cycles, the LoC.

Homura tries to comprehend what is happening when the most important scene in the movie starts, the flower scene. Madoka confronts Homura about how she has been acting. Meanwhile Homura falls into despair, explainíng that it was a nightmare to her, living without Madoka. She didn’t want to live in a world without Madoka and she simply can not do it anymore. Madoka explains that she would never want to or even be able to leave everyone behind, since it would pain her too much. However this is an idealized version of Madoka, she doesn’t know that she already sacrificed herself and she also acts like that because she is influenced by the labyrinth. I myself believe that Homura is aware of that though, realising the truth behind Madoka's words. Madoka is in pain as the LoC, she has to watch all the people she loves so dearly live their lives without even knowing her. Madoka is a person who needs the people around her, she is a person who strives because of her connections, but she sacrificed exactly that, to protect everyone. Homura finds her resolve again to protect Madoka from pain and sadness at all costs, even if the cause of that pain and sadness is Madoka herself.

Homura talks with Kyouko, asking if she even remembers Madoka and she finally realizes that only one person could have pulled her in, Homura, she is the witch. She tries to find out how this happened when the bigger and more immediate threat to Madoka, Kyubey, finally reveals himself. He explains that the incubators let Homura fall into despair, but before Madoka could collect her, they contained Homura in a barrier and she pulled everyone into it. They did it to analyse the witch phenomena and the LoC and they realised that Madoka is the LoC. Homura’s protectiveness flares up again, but this time corrupted, if she witches out fully and gets killed, then Madoka has no reason to be there and the incubators couldn’t capture her, so Homura transforms into Homulilly. She hopes that Kyouko and Mami kill her, but that doesn’t happen, Mami, Kyouko, Nagisa (Bebe as a magical girl) and Sayaka try to stop Homulilly while Madoka tries to talk to her. She finally breaks through to Homura, who drowns in self-hatred. She doesn’t want to be the cold emotionless Homura, she doesn’t want to die either, she just wants Madoka to be happy. And finally Madoka gives Homura hope, she explains that everything will be fine and that the incubators won’t capture her if they break the barrier and so they do it, they break through the barrier.

*Devil Homura*

Homura lies there, waiting for Madoka to come and collect her, but instead of letting Madoka take the soul gem, she grabs onto Madoka and rips her human side from the LoC. Then she explains that the thing that darkened her soul gem in the first place, wasn’t despair at all, it was her love for Madoka. She manages to go into a hybrid state between magical girl and witch and with her newfound power she rewrites the entire Multiverse. She has a talk with Sayaka, where she explains that she is now an existence known as evil, but her own familiars throw tomatoes at her, important soon. Now Madoka is a shy transfer student and Homura becomes her immediate friend, just like Madoka did in the first timeline. Homura realises that Madoka can always go back to being the LoC, thus Homura brings her back and tells her that at one point, they will be enemies.

This brings me to the central question of my last essay about Homura: Is Homura evil?

Last time I mindlessly said yes, now I say, she did what she deemed necessary to protect Madoka. Her actions were evil, but she doesn’t have evil intentions. If she is evil, then I guess I’m evil too.

That started with her first wish already. Madoka gave her a feeling of security and happiness, she wanted to go back in time to protect Madoka and give Madoka a chance to feel the same way Homura felt with Madoka. She didn’t just want to be a hero to Madoka, she wanted to be a support and friend Madoka can rely on. And as previously explained, just healing Madoka wouldn’t have been a good idea. Then after 100 cycles, she sees Madoka leave everything behind to become the hope of all magical girls. Then she realised in how much pain Madoka truly is as the LoC. and thus she makes the decision to free Madoka from that painful burden, by doing the most vile act in her opinion: defiling Madoka, going against her wishes and rip her from the LoC and rewrite the multiverse. That is the reason she calls herself evil. She hates herself for going against Madoka, but also knows that it was the only way to protect Madoka from herself. If there was any way to follow Madoka's wishes Homura would have taken that option. She is more smug and aware of how powerful she is, but she truly despises what she uses her powers for, but can’t stop it. She is a demon for going against god, ripping Madoka from the LoC and she is evil for acting against Madoka, but that is necessary so Madoka can be safe and happy. When Homura tries to act menacing and evil, her own familiars throw tomatoes at her as she is a bad actor, she plays this evil demon, but that isn’t what she wants, she just did the evil so Madoka is happy, if there is no more evil required she doesn’t do it. And it’s easy to say she just wants to control Madoka, but why would Madoka become her enemy then? Homura could control her to not be Homura’s enemy, except when she isn’t trying to control Madoka. Homura wants Madoka to be happy and removes any obstacle from the path to Madoka’s happiness, even herself. She keeps her distance from Madoka so she can live a normal life, only interfering if necessary and if Madoka’s happiness includes her becoming Homura’s enemy, then so be it.

My own opinions to Homura:

I love Homura, I worship her like a goddess. And after finally understanding her story better, I appreciate her way more. Her design is beautiful, mirroring all magical girls with her colour scheme and religious themes and as devil Homura her outfit is a beautiful contrast to Madokami, her dress mimicking Madokami’s, her wings being a mockery of Madoka’s, with them looking like someone stuck feathers to bones, held up by a single string of muscle, the black lines. The top of her dress resembles a broken heart and she even wears a ribbon like Madoka. Her story is great, no need to explain that further, especially the growth though.

My personal favourite is devil Homura, she is more smug and confident in her capabilities and I like that. But seeing how much she despises what she had done to give Madoka a safe and happy life, it was necessary in her eyes. I love how Homura managed to make the decision to make the most vile act to save Madoka, doing the necessary evil that has to be done so Madoka can be happy. The thing that hits me the hardest, if i was in her situation, having done what she has done, I would have done the same thing as her, without any hesitation. If she is evil, I am evil.

When I say I worship her, I mean it. My ritual for good luck is literally asking Homura for it and I have paid 190€ for a single figure, which will soon arrive. I had a presentation about Nietzsche in my philosophy course and I had to make a poster. I included her Salamander symbol and even wrote “Homura ist peak” (it’s German, but I don’t think I need to explain it) in witch runes on the poster. I have 1920 images of her saved on my phone, i use a Homura wallpaper on my phone and main laptop and I use a Homura cursor on my main and school laptop.

What can I say? Madoka Magica uses german a bit and i’m fluent in german, so: Homura ist die beste (Homura is the best)