“All you ever wanted was my cigarettes”
All I wanted was
To touch where your lips touched
To share in the intimacy of vice
And through vice humanity
“All you ever wanted was sex”
All I wanted was
To lie beside you
And stare at how beautiful the sides of your eyeballs were as you gazed at the ceiling and laughed.
Before you took my silence
As uncomfortable
And you shoved your hand down my pants
You drag your fingers on me
You remark I am cold
I apologize for my nature
You kiss the crown of my head
“You are too cold for me”
My eyelids creak down
“I cannot understand you”
I am standing rigidly upright
If all I have is my words
I am not enough for you
If I am strong
I am too much
Oh, can a Tin Woman
Ever feel love?
Why do they come back to us?
As bright red prey, ready to scrape by just to die again.
The priests professed how we ought to suffer so we may leave this life behind.
But as I lounged after church on my parents porch, a cardinal landed on the banister. I felt guilt in asking, but I had to know.
Whoever you are, I have known you before. Tell me, are the streets of gold not bright enough for you? The songs of angles not soft enough?
The cardinal looked at me and said,
If heaven was perfect, then where were you?