My sweet Leo boy
I miss our boy Leo so freaking much. It's been nine days without you, and I am still in denial. I still cannot believe I'm never going to see or hug him again. He was the sweetest baby boy.
Leo was diagnosed with lymphoma last Fall. We started him on chemo immediately. He did well on the first three rounds of CHOP, going into remission last January. Right before completing his fourth and final round of CHOP (literally two treatments away from ringing the bell), he relapsed in April.
The lymph nodes in his neck were starting to grow again. For weeks after that, we tried every possible chemo treatment, as long as he continued feeling good and comfortable. It worked for a bit, but then in June, he just started failing every new medicine he tried. His lymph nodes would shrink with every new treatment, but immediately grow back soon after. He even started exhibiting neurological symptoms, like wincing in his eyes, loss of mobility, and in his last few days, seizures. We didn't want any of this for him, and couldn't stomach seeing him like this. After a particularly bad episode at 4 am, we decided it was time for him to rest.
I of course don't regret putting him to sleep when we did, but it was one of the most difficult decisions we'd ever had to make. My whole heart is broken and I don't know what a life without him looks like. He wasn't even eight yet. He is the one thing that makes me want to believe in heaven because all I want is to see and hug him again.
Please give your sweet little goobers a little extra love today, whether in hug, kiss, or treat form! ❤️