u/Minnypop

Fellow Southeast Asian-American living in Minneapolis. Not going to lie, I’m having a harder time with the upcoming Fourth of July this year than I usually do. It’s made me reflect a lot on what it means to be American, especially as someone from an immigrant/refugee community. This year has been tough for Minneapolis, and for many immigrant friends and families I know personally. I live close an area where ICE agents were continuously patrolling the streets, so these issues felt very real and close to home. I had a friend from China working on a visa stay at my apartment for a few days because ICE activity was so heavy near him, and he was genuinely afraid. Another good friend of mine who is Hmong was confronted by an ICE agent while at a gas station. I saw elders on the news like Chongly Thao be detained by ICE in the freezing cold, wearing only his underwear, without even being properly questioned. Seeing things like that happen to people in our community makes it hard to treat this as some abstract political debate. It felt personal. It felt close. The murders of Renee Good and Alex Pretti also had a major effect on people in my city. But one thing that did make me proud was seeing so many people show up and protest the federal occupation.

I guess I’m sitting with a lot more mixed feelings about this country heading into this Fourth of July.I’ve never been a big “rah-rah America” kind of guy, and I’ve always had my own complicated opinions about this country. But the bitterness and resentment I feel this year feels different. I understand that the Fourth of July is not necessarily about celebrating the government, but about the birth of the country. Still, for some reason, I can’t separate the two right now. Maybe part of it is because, growing up, my identity as an American was always questioned. I was told, directly and indirectly, that I wasn’t really American. And now I’m expected to celebrate America without acknowledging those experiences. Those two expectations don’t fit together.

I’m curious if other Asian Americans or people from immigrant/refugee families, are feeling something similar this year.

I saw a similar post about this around a month ago, but I’m genuinely curious about it and wanted to hear other people’s thoughts. I’ve recently seen on social media that Asian friend groups sometimes get judged more harshly than other friend groups made up mostly of one ethnicity. I’ve seen people, including other POC and even other Asians, describe majority-Asian friend groups as close-minded, cliquey, or even racist. But I don’t really see that same level of criticism or standard applied as often to other ethnic friend groups.

I grew up in an area that was slightly more white-populated, and my friends growing up were pretty multicultural. I’m grateful for that, and it shaped how I see people and relationships. But as I got older, I also found myself becoming closer to my Asian-American friends who had similar experiences to mine as second-generation immigrants. Those kind of friendships felt different, not because we were trying to exclude anyone, but because there were certain cultural experiences, family dynamics, and identity-related things we could talk about.

I’m not denying that Asian-majority friend groups can sometimes be cliquey or close-minded. I just feel like those same standards are not always applied equally to other friend groups, which makes it strange to see people online single out and dunk on Asian friend groups so often. I experienced that growing up as well, where my friends and I were walking outside of the high school, and this white girl rolled down her friends and started shouting shit about our friend group lol. Curious as to what you all have to say.