I think I have HPPD. Please let me know what you guys think, im not in a great place right now. And I would like to just talk to people.
In 2020 I dropped acid. Fast forward a year later in 2021, I started getting alot of anxiety and then for weeks i got stuck in seeing these severe intrusive images and it felt like I was on acid again. For a little over a year after that I fell into a really severe depression and got stuck in intrusive thought loops until I finally got help. My problem is I dont think I ever mentioned the acid and I was chatergorized as having severe depression with pyschotic disorder. Now for the past 4 years I've been to the hospital several times and same with treatment facilities because somethings really not right with me mentally. I usually just say the same stuff, I'm very numb and detached mentally, I cant feel happiness, I feel stuck. It cant be severe depression because I got really into mma and trained like a madman to try and heal from this and it really didnt do anything. Now that Im putting no pressure on myself, accepting my mental state for as it is, I'm pretty sure I've been stuck in the same state of mind i was in during my acid trip. Its weird i really have been convinced I was fine too, so going to a rehab I like put pressure on myself to be depressed. I'm realizing now just how distorted my reality has been since 2021 and how I've just been stuck in the same mental state. I'm back at a rehab now and therapist / pyschiatrist, groups, TMS, really intense workouts everyday, and it really hasn't been doing anything.
Has anyone else ever been this trapped and firgured out stuff that worked to get better. Could really use your feedback on what you guys think.