u/Miserable-Hotel-5780

So I’ve always had GAD - like since birth. However, when my mom got sick and I watched the progression of her illness, the generalized aspect began to get more focused on health. Then, after she passed away 1.5 years ago (which I witnessed and have severe PTSD from due to several things being missed and neglected ultimately resulting in her earlier departure), my anxiety has been completely centered around my health, my kids, and my husband and it is totally and utterly out of control. Not one day goes by where I don’t convince myself or hyperfixate on something health related. My son bonked his head earlier and was making sounds in his sleep - so naturally, I of course spiraled. I am a freaking therapist myself and in treatment for all of this but the cycle is vicious and it’s a terrible spot to be in. It feels never-ending. I’m not sure if any of you can relate but 50% of the time I’m crying because I’ve convinced myself something ominous is happening to me, my kids (terrified to leave them - they are a toddler and a baby), or my husband. The OTHER 50% is me crying over this mental illness!! I just feel so distraught by my own brain and depressed that THIS is how i live? Psychologically, it is a beast. And even when trying to rationalize with logic, you can only go so far right - because life and health ARE unpredictable. Anything could happen at anytime and I don’t know it’s just awful

Long story short, I have been having a plethora of symptoms over the last 8 years including but not limited to brain fog, chronic fatigue, peripheral neuropathy that is transient, temperature sensitivites, and joint/back pain. I had a workup done with rheumo about 3 years ago and all came back “negative”. I then sought out functional med 2 years ago which is a huge regret because the practitioner ran a bunch of tests (that were never repeated) and chalked it up to CIRS (mold illness). Never fully bought that but not against it. The most concerning results were:

CRP: >10 (should be under 3)
TGFB-1: 4300 (should be under 2382)
VEGF-A: 95 (should be 31-86 pg/mL)

I have had so much worked up following this with multiple specialists and nothing came of it but also, those tests were never repeated. I’m most worried about VEGF-A since admittedly my mom died of cancer in front of me and my mind always goes there. Is that value something to be concerned about? And if so, who should I see?

Note: I have been diagnosed with endometriosis and I also found out I have had recurrent EBV, for context.

Edited to add: My mom was BRCA negative but the entire experience traumatized me so my mind always goes there, especially now that I have two young children. I am in EMDR currently.