Update: Losing empathy and patience after three years
Well, it’s been three months since I wrote the OP, and unfortunately, my patience with students continues to wear thin. I am tired of their lies, like claiming they didn’t get accommodations when we have record of us going above and beyond and giving them things not supported by a medical need but because they kept pushing and demanding we gave into them and made compromises. I have to repeat timelines a lot to anxious students because they expect me to make their requests a priority and say “it’s nerve wracking” for them to have to wait. In reality they are no more important than the multiple other requests waiting behind them. I can’t make them my top priority because they told me I have to.
I did interview for two jobs but neither worked out. One was a program coordinator role that told me I was thoughtful, collaborative and they liked my interest in their work…only for them to hire someone else. I also interviewed for an L&D specialist role that ended up hiring nobody because the company decided to “re-evaluate their staffing needs.” Ever since then I have not had any interviews. I am in the expats group on Facebook but truthfully, I feel demoralized when looking at it because it feels like everyone else is able to pivot out so easily and get their dream job while I’m stuck and my mental health and personality just evaporates every day. I have never had to work this hard to find a better job and am exhausted from the continued reframing/translation and practicing interview answers. It can feel degrading in some ways…the “you’re not good enough for anything else” feeling.
Truthfully I’m thinking of abandoning my goal to get out and work in HR or learning and development. I don’t know what else to do, though, as everything is so saturated with applicants and I’m not cut out for the trendy jobs like nursing (I’m fine working in healthcare but want to be behind the scenes and not deal with patients) or skilled trades. And forget teaching K12 or something. I guess this is just it for me. 🤷♀️