u/Mobile_Bonus4983

I've been at it, training my inner senses. Yesterday I tried loosening up and not exit the ego as much. The day before felt like a warning. My bike had got a flat tire, I accidentally crushed an old lamp and I accidentally smashed an old bowl that usually never breaks. I took that as a message to chill out with the ego exit. Too much previous ego exit meditation, I guess.

So I took a new approach. I followed the guide on chapter 19 in the Seth material book, which somehow I have never read, relating to psychological time.

>"Actually, in practice, Psychological Time leads to development of the other Inner Senses. In Psy-Time, as we call it, you simply turn your focus of attention inward. Sit or lie quietly alone and close your eyes. Pretend that there is a world within as vivid and real as the physical one. Turn off your physical senses. If you want, imagine that they have dials and you flip them off, one by one. Then imagine that the Inner Senses have another set of dials. Imaginatively, turn them on. This is one method of beginning. You may, instead, just lie quietly and concentrate on a dark screen until images or lights appear on it. Do not concentrate on worries or daily trivia that may arise as soon as you block out physical distractions. If such thoughts do come to the foreground of attention, then you are not ready to proceed. First you must get rid of them. ' Since we can’t concentrate fully on two things at once, you may focus your attention on the screen again or on any imaginary image—this will banish the annoying worries. Or you may pretend that the worries themselves have images and then “see” these vanishing away. At a certain point you will feel alert and conscious but very light. Within your mind you may see bright lights. You may hear sounds or voices. Some may be telepathic or clairvoyant messages. Some may simply be subconscious pictures. As you practice, you will learn to tell one from the other. Gradually as you progress, you will feel apart from _time as we know it during the exercise. You may have various kinds of subjective experiences, from extrasensory episodes to simple periods of inspiration and direction. I sometimes have out-of-body travels, for instance, during Psy-Time. This sense leads to refreshment, relaxation, and peace. It can be used in many ways, for different purposes. Most of my students now utilize this sense quite well, and use it as a preliminary to other experiences."

I put a clock for 15 minutes. I think I had a harder time sleeping at night after a spontaneous session that lasted 25 minutes. I faded away, but not as intensely as with the more ego distancing thing that I had been doing. A slight ringing showing up in my ears, a not sleepy but distancing process shows up, it feels slightly as if falling through the bed but not - and then, just 30 seconds before the clock was about to go - I "wake up" from the trance. I've been away and it feels like not waking up, but similar. And my big toe is itching like crazy, more like as if there is a lightning going through it. It is very distinct and it's the second time since I started going for inner senses. Then a light shows up, or was it just me opening my eye lids a bit? And then there is a voice showing up (that happens to me, is it my mind, something else, who knows?). It says that it's present now. And the alarm from the clock starts ringing. I don't care. I talk to the voice and just blurts out - what's the meaning of life? Freedom and joy it says. The ringing clock is ringing and I just shut it off.

I take my steps out of bed, it's about after dinner and I'm taking care of the kids and one of them keeps screaming because we woke her up because she fell asleep in front of the tv too early. One of the first days at school and she is overwhelmed but we don't want her to stay up all night instead.. And there is no way that her overwhelming screaming, she's good at it, will affect me. The frequency of joy seems all abundant and present - somehow. That's what's life is about - I guess? I'm usually not an unshakable person, quite the opposite. Crying, screaming, joyous and unhappy people affect me. A lot.

Okay, I don't want to write all too long. But today, after the daily inner senses traning, now 15 minutes long and with a clock, shifts things. I had a frequency of joy that just was there - somehow, but after waking up from the inner senses 30 seconds before the clock rings, I find myself somewhere else. I feel not tired, not sad, but not joyous. It feels strange and not at all as mellow/great as yesterday.

I think about a workshop that I should prepare but I just don't feel it. I walk around. Care for my older daughter. Walk to the kitchen. A voice tells me that I'm going to be sad for a day or two. Yeah, it's okay to munch on something if I want. Cookies and milk is okay I think. The voice tells me that they love me and care for me. But they need me to get through this sadness and just be with it. It's as its interfering with what ever else is possible to communicate.

Well, all right I think to myself and just let it be.

I've recently tried out inner senses for the first time. But read the books about 25 years ago.

This night I dropped my outer senses, lying on a sofa. The kids were screaming and playing downstairs. I set a clock of about 25 minutes. In the beginning I disconnect from "myself". The thoughts, feelings, outer senses. It takes about 5-10 minutes of this and then I'm gone. Some type of deep state. Not aware of my surroundings anymore. Just gone.

Suddenly, just 30 seconds from the alarm going off, I'm starting to enter reality again. Its very disorienting to hear my daughters downstairs. Aren't they asleep already? Why are they making that noise!?

This re-entry into the ordinary senses is very obvious and similar to deep meditation.

Okay, so I tend to my daughters and after doing this inner senses meditation type of thing for the last couple of days, I'm always a lot less reactive and the narrative of the character of me hasn't fully entered.

Anyways, I've read a lot of the Seth books but actually never The Seth Material-book. My younger daughter wants to fall asleep Infront of the tv and on my arm. I read chapter 19 on the inner senses. I read about vibrational touch.

My daughter almost always falls asleep in front of the tv, and I pick her sleeping body and put her to bed. This time she half-lays outside of the sofa, halfway down the floor. Now, she tells me to pick her up (while awake) and put her in her bed. Well, okay. I'm supposed to just stand up - and I feel as if I'm going to fall. Never happens. My legs are a bit jelly. Never happens. I carry her and just hopes my feet will carry.

I put her - who seems to be in that exact state, that I feel, in her bed. She asks for some music. I have a hard time orienting on my phone. The music wont start.

This is disorienting and I close my eyes, thinks about vibrational touch and my daughter. I focus on "myself" and I'm more myself again. Very rational and clear.

What is this? Yes, blood pressure can be somewhat similar when standing up quickly but no, not like this.

So I've been trying out inner senses and psychological time recently. Once a day or so I let go of the senses and just see what happens. Nothing much. But last night I awoke during my sleep and did it after a while of not falling asleep. Lots of things passed by and one of them were my dead mum. We had a complicated relationship the last years 8 years (when I didn't just put up with everything). I was the only person staying with her when she died.

She appeared with her hairdo, but a lot more flamboyant and somewhat similar to a rainbow over her head. She told me she loved me and was sorry for things. Something released in my body at the time. A sigh of relief. She talked to me about things from early life to today. Then she and the experience faded away.

I've been feeling more upbeat today than usual. I'll keep at exploring this.

I have some experience with light trance and mediation. But this seems different.

Anyone had any similar experience?

5.1 has been my go to after Gemini 2.5 pro was scheduled for deactivation. Is 5.2 like Ghatpt/Claude ripping out the empathic parts and making room for agentic use?

I'm migrating over to open source models but have been staying with a proxy connecting to claude code. This seems to work fine but I haven't tried using opencode instead. Anyone tried and has experience?