u/MoriFriedman

I'm into my third edit. Trying to get away from the prose that haunts me... If you like it but have an improvement suggestion/ deletion suggestion, let me know.

The Blurb:

Dream-jumper and falsely convicted murderer Kino von Kaelic’s sanity frays in a lonely prison cell until his conversations with an antagonizing demon start sounding more like a business arrangement.  Kino makes a deal with the demon to escape his predicament and then double-crosses his shadowed “benefactor” before his corpse has stiffened.

Finding himself leagues from home and lacking a proper body, Kino has to skirt the law, use and be used by the organized crime ring he stumbles across and above all, hide his true identity from the shadowed he double-crossed in the first place.

It would be a shame if someone(s) got hurt.

What to Expect:

Two soul-chained machines opposed to each other

Fantasy world on the cusp of gunpowder and the early days of steam

Multi-POV

Two fantasy races you’ve never encountered before

A dangerous library

Angels and demons (messengers and shadowed) actively intervening

Protagonists without plot armor

I'm launching a new series soon. Don't even have the cover yet. I'm considering using a different kind of pitch (because I like trying new things). Option A is new style. Option B is traditional.

Please let me know if the STYLE of A is something you would like to see more of , or feel free to critique option B in a way I can improve it. ( for example, should I just say soul-infused machine instead of animatoid?)

The "What to expect" would be included in both.

OPTION A

A hand reaches into a crowded bookcase of old tomes and maps of forgotten cities.  It pauses momentarily then reaches farther back before pulling out a most unique specimen.  A second hand joins the first in turning the small but thick book over to reveal a forbidden angular script on the metallic cover.  A finger slowly traces the unfamiliar words until it is trembling with excitement... or is it fear.

A phantom in a voluminous librarian’s cloak rides the steaming search engine along the rails above the three story stacks of books beneath the mountain.  The cloak streams behind him dancing in the wind of his passage.   He glances once behind him searching for any sign he has been followed revealing a blank metallic face devoid of features.

The wall has just been blown to splinters and dust fills the air of the warehouse so thick the startled men are practically choking on it. The dawn light struggles through the haze revealing what at first appears to be a human silhouette.  But, the body turns and suddenly the rays of dawn pass between the ribs stabbing out into the haze.  The bone knight is now among them.

OPTION B

Kino von Kaelic, a disgruntled animatoid assembler of the technologically advanced Tower of Gilead has been framed and imprisoned for the justifiable murder of his superior.  As his sanity frays, he makes a deal with the devil to escape and then double-crosses his shadowed “benefactor” before his corpse has stiffened.

Down on the soil, the rest of the continent of Alum has been arrested at the brink of the industrial revolution held back forcibly by The Tower and its technology policing Rogue Hunters. Some these enforcers are bone knights that roam the land in hardy machines piloted by the souls of those afraid to die.  One legend in particular has been at the job so long his name can be found in the history books.

When the Master of the Sewers finds a forbidden technical manual just as newly introduced firearms find their way into the hands of a criminal gang, even the spirits get involved.  He is about to pay for the knowledge with everything he holds dear.

What to Expect:

Two soul-chained machines opposed to each other

Setting on the cusp of the industrial revolution

Multi-POV

Two fantasy races you’ve never encountered before

A dangerous library

Angels and demons (messengers and shadowed) actively intervening

Protagonists without plot armor