Bufo changed how I see myself (2 months later reflection)
Hey everyone
I want to share my experience two months after my first bufo ceremony. Maybe it helps someone in similar place.
I did Bufo end of May. Before that I tried magic mushrooms, Ayahuasca and San Pedro, so I knew a bit about plant medicine, but Bufo was still very different.
My trip was like many people describe here: first this instant death, very strong but I surrendered quite easily. Then I was floating in an ocean of love, no body, no thoughts, just love everywhere. After that came huge gratitude and release, a lot of crying and letting go.
After ceremony I was thinking that this love is something external, coming from medicine or universe. But later I realized: it also comes from me, I am part of this love too.
Quick backstory. I struggled with depression since 2022. I thought I was over it in 2024, at least “good enough”. Last week I went for a walk and kept hearing inside: “fight for yourself", again and again. In that moment something broke and I saw I was actually depressed all this time, just functioning on top of it.
I have an eating disorder from lockdown times, more or less. Looking back it feels like I tried to slowly kill myself, not caring about my body.
Now, two months after Bufo, I really feel something changed. I believe bufo helped me. I eat healthy since then, not perfect but with real care. And for the first time in long time, I can see my future. Before it was just grey fog, now I have small visions and they feel possible.
It’s not a magic fix, I still have work and bad days, but it’s like someone opened a window in a dark room. I finally want to stay here and fight for myself.
Thanks for reading