I have no idea what else I can do.
My fiance (39M) was diagnosed with cirrhosis in 2021, given 6 months to 4 years to live. This is year 5. However, he has not been completely compliant with sobriety.
In March of this year he began exhibiting signs of HE which then led to many, many hospital visits. Ammonia was at 125. Given lactulose in the hospitals, only once was discharged with a prescription for home.
Recently he was diagnosed with decompensated liver disease, and the HE is barely controlled; he has bouts of clarity and within a week he's back at a hospital.
Most recently (Mother's Day) he was assessed in the ER by a mental health crisis team who recommended he go inpatient for a higher level of care (mental/behavioral). The next day he was transported 3.5 hours away to a facility (as much as I'd love to drag this place through the mud, I will not mention what it was). He spent a week there receiving therapy and medications, and the few times I spoke with him on the phone he seemed hopeful about his recovery.
He was discharged yesterday morning. He had a ride to bring him home through his insurance and declined it (didn't find this out til 8 hours after the fact), thinking he was going to be able to go to a sober living house his roommate at the facility was going to. From there I had no contact with him for over 24 hours.
After making 50+ phone calls over last night and this morning, I finally found him at a large hospital in the nearest major city to the previous facility. I thought, "good, he's safe, he will get medical attention." When I spoke with him on the phone, he was short with me, demanding information I did not have, and called me names (not new since HE, completely unheard of before). He self discharged AMA and was told he had to leave the premises.
That was almost 5 hours ago. Still no contact with him.
Do I just let him be an adult and figure this out on his own? When I called the PD they basically said that he's an adult and can make his own decisions. But is that true, with HE? I've watched him be sedated 3x before he'd calm down. I've watched him be tackled by 3 police officers. He's not okay and I can tell.
I am afraid that, being loose in a major city, it will result in jail or death. He gets confused and nonsensical to the point where if someone doesn't understand he could get combative. Not only that, but chances for relapse are SO high being alone, loose in the city. Alcohol and drugs are everywhere.
I'm afraid for that inevitable phone call from 4 hours away. Or worse, finding out on Facebook or online way after the fact.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting by sharing this. But it feels better to get it out I guess. Thank you for reading.
Edit to add: I have recently been informed he is currently in the er of a different hospital 20 miles away from the last one. I hope he stays.