Asking for some help not to lose my dream job
I really need some help not to lose my job.
I’ve always had fear of flying, but two years ago it was better. I posted on this group in 2024, and took 19 flights that year which was a record for me. Was still scared throughout, but I could get on flights. A year ago I made it all the way to Fiji for the holiday of a lifetime with my partner, and that flight gave me tonnes of confidence.
Fast forward to 2026. Life became stressful at work and with other family things. I had to fly to see my best friend get married, and only just made it on the plane in March for a 3.5 hour flight which was one long panic attack. I missed the first ever long haul family holiday mine has ever done this summer- to New Zealand for two weeks - because I was too scared of being scared on the flight. For work, I’ve missed two trips this year with business class flights, and work are about to fire me for not flying in November this year on the third trip London to Chicago. I have a dream job - president of a successful company in data analytics - but I’m going to lose it.
It’s not safety I fear, it’s the sensation of turbulence and the fear of the fear. I’ve now cancelled so many flights and left the plane so many times, I’ve lost any confidence I can make it on. Once a ticket gets booked, I just throw up repeatedly from stress until i can’t function in any setting and I cancel. I tried cbt, medication and hypno but they have all stopped working. I want exposure therapy to help but that needs me to get on a plane. I’d pay anything at this point so I don’t get fired, but I don’t know what’s left.
I don’t know how to get through this, this group have been amazing for me and I don’t know what I’m asking for, solutions or hope or something, but I feel hopeless and I’m stuck sobbing in bed whilst my family are asleep and I could use some strangers on the internet to tell me it will somehow get better