First swinger experience left me with more questions than answers. Is jealousy something you work through or a sign it’s not for you?
We went to a swinger spa for the first time recently. A girl approached us and things moved pretty quickly — she started masturbating to my husband and kissing him, while he touched her back. He tried to include me and divide his attention equally, and to be fair he did. But she was mostly focused on him, and I ended up feeling invisible.
I stopped it when it got too uncomfortable, which I’m glad I did. Looking back, we made a mistake - we didn’t check in with each other during. He got a bit carried away and forgot to just ask how I was feeling in the moment.
Watching him kiss her hurt more than I expected. Not the sexual part - the kissing specifically. Even though I went in with curiosity and some fantasies about MMF and FFM scenarios, as well as possible swing.
Now he wants to go again for something softer. And I’m not sure. I don’t know if it would bring something new to us (and some nice emotions to me!), or if I’m just saying that because the first experience hasn’t worn off yet.
Is jealousy something you work through with time and communication, or is it a signal this lifestyle isn’t for you? Did anyone feel this way after a first time and find their footing — or did it confirm it just wasn’t worth it?
Will be grateful for you sharing your experience.