u/No-Bicycle-6181

Dear all waterloo engineering admits.

101% average.

3.6 million volunteer hours.

Internship at Apple and Amazon at the same time.

PhD from MIT, Harvard, and Oxford.

Rejected.

After pouring my soul into the four Nobel Prizes I received in my time at high school, (that’s a lie I won my Physics Prize when I was four), I was rejected.

Waterloo students:

Enjoy your spoonfed co-op.

Enjoy your goose-infested campus.

But just know that, in the meantime, I will be working 400 hours per day at Hogwarts. I will outwork each and every one of you. I will secure co-ops at all the companies you dreamed of through pure blood, sweat, and tears.

When job interviews roll around in 5 years, I’ll be ready.

See you at the interviews.