24 month anniversary
I’m laying under a blue sky with my face draining: eyes, nose & mouth. My wife is behind me and holding me. There’s some aquatic animal splashing around under the duckweed 10 feet from my feet. Today I got the good news from my last MRI. More good news. No new growth of my incurable brain cancer.
The doctors gave me 18 to 24 months to live with a 5% chance of beating those odds and today is the anniversary of making it to two years.
We are laying on a blanket high on DMT. I wanted to puke but it passed. Willow leaves are vibrating. Dragonflys on the hunt & songbirds are converting this park into Grantchester Meadows. I’m sobbing tears of joy and I’m so sorry to friends I called up to ask to pull the plug on me if I was a vegetable. My kids are too young!
I’m so glad I didn’t jump off that bridge or stab myself in the in the fucking neck. I’m still here.
Oh God, what a terrible ride. How painful, so terrible to sign that DNR & design a grave marker. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be around me. Now I think I’m laughing-crying.