Hi

I'm a girl coming from middle class. Studying in 1st year of college. Being a girl if i don't get financial independence earlier I can get married and I don't want tk end of living a hell life after married.

So should I start upsc preparation from now with college and giving upsc 2 to 4 hrs daily

Or should I wait for ending me graduation.

Tbh, I wanna start from now

But I don't have enough financial condition to enroll into coaching and spent lacks of rupees

What should I do nw

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Hey

Feeling baffled , gloomy, and what not

Actually my sister is gonna married and i realised recently my brother in law to be is trying to a bit kind of assault to me. Earlier I used to think it can't happen as he used to be so good with us , overly sweet and caring he is like a brother to me. Now recently I realised it's not like that one day he kissed me on my cheek so I thought it can be out of love as a sister brother bond then in crowd he shows he is holding my hand out of care but he try to touch my boobs from his elbow also when he was beside me in auto he try to touch my back and bra and books from back also when I was alone with him he kissed me on my head and tried to hug me earlier I ignored this but now I realised this is more than a brother sister kinda relationship also I showed discomfort but he didn't show anything

As he has made a very clean , good. , caring and a respectful image in our family's eye to think like he is assaulting me was a crime to me but now I think this is kind of manipulation or he is hiding his real face

I couldn't say anything bcz I was nervous and this was happening with me 1st time I had no idea how should I react also he is about to become family members and my sister is gonna marry to him .

It's to difficult for me to share it with anyone even with my sister .

I'm in trouble what should I do.

Pls suggest me .

I've never experienced such things from a family member

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Is there anyone who have reached to interview stage or atleast mains mainly from self study and pirated videos.

As of nw im preparing from pirated videos and didn't take coaching.

Facing so much self doubt, should I take coaching or not, need guidance

I've started basics for upsc for 2 days, honestly I'm feeling low sometimes and some of the thoughts keep hitting me all the times

As I don't come from DU, IIT, AIMS, such institution i don't have that confidence and exposure even I'm under confident also

2nd I can speak basics english but not very good at english although I'm working on this part .

So as it's been only 2 days and teachers r teaching in english as I'm not habituated to listen lectures in english for 2 3 hrs it feels heavy to continue it and sometimes feel heavy to undertaking it.

Bcz of these thoughts i also think later if I'll able to express my thoughts in english or not

These r the thoughts keep on coming in my mind