Darkfire Redux - A Story and Lesson in Failure
I've finished up my Darkfire redo! This piece is exceptionally meaningful to me because: a) Shadow's is literally my favorite spirit to draw, and b) this was maybe the first time in my artistic career that I felt like I truly let down fans.
The whole process was enlightening, and I figured I'd share a little about it with y'all.
When I originally did Darkfire, it was rushed and didn't turn out great. So, I've been refining my concept and creating this new one, which should be coming in an update soon!
A Lesson in Prioritizing Craft
This was a tough battle for me. I used to be so fast and so reliable that my reputation ended up preceding me. So, when I realized I had missed a deadline, I flat-out panicked and produced crap instead of taking my lumps and pushing through to deliver the quality I knew I was capable of. The craft is so much more important. this was a lesson I have had to learn and re-learn so many times before it would finally stick. It's been tough because my career has gone through some serious ups and downs ever since 2017...
The Deep Water Games Years (2017–2023)
In 2017, I started Deep Water Games, originally to do art for my own games, like Ryan at Red Raven. But about a year into it, I had no time for art or game design because running a business is crazy hard. So I quit art for five years--well, I didn't quit. I sorta accepted quitting art, influenced by a business partner who would tell me, "Being an artist is worthless." (He didn't force me to do anything; I was just a vulnerable kid way over his head at the time.)
I had abandoned my passion for someone else's (Huge mistake--don't ever do this).
Return to Art (2024)
So, flash forward to 2023: I quit DWG and handed it all over to what is now Friendly Skeleton. I didn't make a single dime from it (In fact, I calculated all the money I made over six years, and it amounted to $11/hour, despite having a game at Target and multiple at BnN-- there was also massive fraud happening behind my back but I could write an entire book about that).
Regardless, I don't care about the money; I never got into games for the money--it's always been about following my passion, and that's exactly what I did. In 2024, I got back to work on art, trying to reclaim all those lost years. It's been a hell of a ride, and I'm still struggling to find my footing. The anxiety about my image led me down some dark paths for a while that I'm still recovering from.
As an artist, it's SO hard to see the forest through the trees-- you're always playing the long game, and there are no data points or KPIs to tell you exactly how you're doing like there are in business. Honestly, that's why I fell in love with business ops, because at least there was "brrr number go up."
Focusing on the Craft
So, I'm going to take some time off commercial art, social media, and everything to seriously focus on honing my craft.
Y'all have been so insanely encouraging I can't thank you enough.
If you want to help support this next chapter of my career I've got all my recent aspect art up for sale at n3-studios.com including a restock of the standard edition print of "oops all Spirits!"
I'll still be checking reddit occasionally so feel free to DM me anything!