u/Nomerchi

Could this have been my last dance? I don’t know.

Two weeks ago I thought I had a rib out. I pushed through like every fighter does.

Friday I sparred, did my sprints, and my team thought I looked good. I didn’t want to make excuses, but I mentioned that my left arm was hurting and my rib was hurting. My team helped with cupping and scraping.

That same night I went for a run at 8 p.m. I did 3 miles. On the 3rd mile, my body was shutting down. I pushed because I won’t quit on myself, and 3 miles should be nothing.

I got home, and there was swelling on the left side of my neck and pec. A good doctor friend of mine recommended I go to the ER to make sure I wasn’t having a heart attack.

After 9 hours in the ER, doing EKGs and CT scans, they came back with some bad news. I had multiple blood clots. They found a massive thrombosis in a vein in my neck, and part of the clot had broken off and traveled to my lung, causing a pulmonary embolism. This news has changed my life. Spending 3 nights in the hospital was awful.

The fact that I was still sparring and in such good shape just tells me how tough I can be in the face of adversity. Because I’m in such good shape I was able to survive. They told me 50% of people don’t make it. The fact that I was training, sparring, and pushing myself may have saved my life.

But right now there’s still so much I don’t know. I’m finally out of the hospital, but I have to be on medication for a couple of months. This isn’t the first time I’ve had a setback.

My worst enemy has always been me. My mind is strong. It sucks when something out of your control tries to take you away from your dream.

I won’t give up. I’d rather die trying, as bad as that sounds, especially because I was close to dying.

Before that, I want to say thank you to everyone who took care of me during this hard time. My nurses and doctors were incredible, and I’m beyond grateful for the care I received. To my friends and family who showed up, stayed with me, and never left my side—I felt all the love. You all gave me the strength I needed to get through this. Im sorry to all my friends, my family and my team. I wish the outcome was different.Hope God has a plan.

(Via @dannysilvamma)