u/NopeRopesAreDope

I recently posted (on Tumblr) an idea for the plot of another Addams Family movie, and I decided to repost it here with some new additions since I thought it would be fun and I want to see what y'all think:

We start with Gomez and Morticia walking down the street and discussing what to do for their ??th anniversary. Suddenly, Gomez is hit by a truck. Cut to the funeral, where Morticia is doing her “grieving widow” thing, when Gomez walks in perfectly fine. Morticia throws off her veil and says “oh finally, you're back. Now we can continue planning for our anniversary.”

One of the family members interrupts and says there's some bad news about that. Cut to G&M in an office, where Cousin Itt (who is apparently a lawyer in this) is sitting at a desk in front of them. He speaks in his usual gibberish, but there's subtitles. That, or G&M’s responses let the viewers know the basics. Anyway, because Gomez was legally declared dead, he and Morticia are technically no longer married. Till death do us part and all that. Also, bureaucracy. Gomez is briefly devastated, but then Morticia realizes that they have an opportunity for the perfect anniversary. They can get married again. They both excitedly strut out of the office together. Cut to title card. This all happens in the first 5~ minutes.

(Credit to my younger sibling for thinking up some of the opening sequence, since I originally just had "they decide to have another wedding on their anniversary", but my sib suggested one of them dies and comes back, and they need to get remarried because of it. Also the idea of Cousin Itt being a lawyer)

So, in order to help with the wedding preparations, G&M hire a husband-wife duo who are wedding planners.

But little do they know, the wedding planners are actually serial scammers who set up fake businesses (venues, caterers, florists, boutiques, etc.) and convince the couples to get the most expensive stuff or just overcharge them. Secretly, all the money goes into the wedding planners’ bank account. And on the day of the wedding, the wedding planners run off with the money. An important thing to know is that the wedding planners are at a rocky point in their marriage, and have lost faith in love (may partially be due to seeing a lot of dysfunctional couples). This will be important later. 

The wedding planners did not plan for Addams-esque weirdness, so all their fake stuff follows more traditional wedding aesthetics. They frequently separate Gomez and Morticia and lie to them about what the other wants for the wedding. For example, one wedding planner takes Morticia dress shopping and tells her that Gomez thinks she would look best in a white dress, but didn’t tell her because he wasn’t sure how she’d feel about that.

G&M are both confused by this since it seems out of character, but don’t question it too much. They both personally would rather not do a lot of the traditional wedding stuff, but don’t want to shut the other down, so they initially go along with it. Now, because G&M are Couple Goals™, they would usually talk with one another about this and express their feelings/concerns. However, every time one of them tries to bring it up, the wedding planners pull off some wacky shenanigans that prevent them from getting to talk. One example of this is Gomez going to talk to Morticia, but a trap-door opens from under him

My mom suggested that at the end, the entire wedding goes “wrong” with a lot of chaos and crazy hijinks that “ruin” everything. However, everything that’s “ruined” becomes 10x more Addams in the process. The flowers catch on fire. Morticia’s dress keeps getting parts of it stained black by different stuff over the course of the day until it’s completely black by the time she gets to walk down the aisle. 

There’s a subplot where one of the planners tries to make Wednesday the flower girl (which she obviously does not want), but Uncle Fester ends up accidentally becoming the flower girl at the last minute (which he secretly wanted to be. Don’t ask why. I don’t know. The explanation is definitely bizarre and funny, though). They probably use teeth instead of petals, though. Pugsley spends most of the movie planning out a fireworks display that contributes to the chaos of the climax. Grandma probably helps him. The cake definitely explodes.

Idk what Thing and Lurtch are doing, but they're probably having a subplot around the marriage certificate.

The order of events in the wedding will likely be switched around, since I want to save the vows for last. Please ignore the weird order. There was probably a mistake during the wedding planning process. Anyway, G&M look around at the “ruined” wedding and immediately say that it’s perfect, and they are extremely happy. They are both briefly confused since they thought the other wanted a traditional wedding. They realize the miscommunication before they laugh it off and start making out.

The wedding planners see how in love G&M are, and this reminds them of why they (the wedding planners) fell in love in the first place: they’re both assholes who scam people for the love of the game. But over time, it became less about the beauty of ruining a couple’s happy day, and more about just the money. They are re-inspired and decide to start creating more scams, as they realize the true meaning of marriage: spending your life with someone who makes you happy. The wedding planners profess their love to one another and share a passionate kiss.

G&M congratulate them and wish them the best, and the wedding planners run off into the sunset or something, idk. G&M do their vows in the wreckage of the venue, and it’s very cute. After the wedding, G&M are alone together, and Gomez asks Morticia how she wants to end their perfect day. Morticia looks at him, raises an eyebrow, and lifts a pair of handcuffs up into frame. The Addams Family theme starts to play. Gomez smirks flirtatiously and they do their classic “cara mia, mia mor” exchange. Cut to them in silhouette with their backs facing the camera as they embrace and start making out. Pan up to the moon above them before things get too suggestive for the PG-13 rating. End.

~~~~

I honestly might do a full write-out and put the script on AO3, but this is the basic premise. So, what do you think?

I've noticed that fanfics can have very odd or seemingly innocuous trigger warnings in the tags or author's notes, but they turn out to be not only accurate but also genuinely deserving of a trigger warning, even if it's not overly graphic/extreme. More like entomophobia level stuff, but you don't expect it to be triggering. And when you read it, you end up having a visceral reaction to it.

Today, I added a trigger warning for "Extreme Climbing" (like rock climbing and stuff) in the author's notes of one chapter because I repeatedly got sweaty palms/feet while writing it and had to take breaks every 10 minutes or so. It was genuinely more stressful for me to write than gore. I did not think I'd ever need to make that a trigger warning, and yet only part way through, I had to add it because writing and reading it causes me physical pain. If anyone is wondering, no, I will not stop writing it. It's for character development.