My first teaching placement was a living hell. Now, I'm questioning everything. Help ?
Hey everyone, I really need to vent and maybe get some advice from anyone who has been through somethings similar.
I am currently a master's student training to become an elementary school teacher. I just finished a 5-week placement in a first grade classroom, and to be honest, it completely broke me. It went so badly that I'm now questioning my entire career choice.
Here is what happened :
My tutor from the school (V), only gave me negative feedback. Every single day. To make things worse, she would vent about me to my university placement supervisor (C). Instead of supporting me, C would send me texts saying things like "I don't understand how can you do things this way", without a single encouraging word.
C would text me constantly, even on my days off. She even sent me a final, harsh message two weeks after placement ended, just to kick me while I was down. On top of that, both V and C constantly compared me to a friend of mine who is in the same program, and they openly question my commitment and seriousness. The only time they finally said something positive was on the very last day, and that was only because I broke down in tears in front of them.
The stress absolutely destroy my health. By the end, I was crying every single morning before going to school. I was constantly nauseous, couldn't eat, and had to run to the bathroom all the time. It got so bad that I am now on medical treatment because the shock and anxiety triggered severe irritable bowel syndrome.
Thinking about next year is giving me panic attacks. I have to go back for a 7-week placement, and just the thought of it literally makes me want to throw up.
Has anyone else dealt with toxic mentors during their teacher training ? I love the kids, but I don't know if I can survive another round of this.
Thanks for reading.