Kind of an existential crisis of a 28-year-old pregnant woman
Hi mamas!
I'm 20 weeks pregnant right now. I don't have a medical issue to raise. Not sure if anyone would resonate with me or help me out or if anything positive might come out of this post. But I wanted to talk and listen to women who could be on the same page as me. This is more about "life rant" if that makes sense.
I always thought I'll continue working and take a maternity leave and then work or decide whatever is best for me and the baby. Shit happens. When we were TTC, I got laid off because the startup "couldn't afford paying me" and I gave a bunch of interviews over the next few months. Nothing worked out. I tried my hand at building a micro SaaS with AI, because come on! Everyone was building one and I did it – it was cool and I was proud of it in someway. But my MVP got feedback that it's basically like ChatGPT and Claude. And by now, I got pregnant. I was of course on top of the world! Excited, grateful and slightly let out a phew because now I have a reason to not try out of those stupid interviews. I feel corporate is sucking away my soul. I'm in the marketing sector and it's just exhausting to see every single brand compete for one millisecond of attention so that someone might give their brand a second thought and consider using their product/service.
Today it's been close to 10 months since I drew a salary. When I step back, I really think I'm okay without a job, especially without a corporate job. I don't want to freelance (I really don't think I can just agree with the client for the sake of it). I want to start something on my own. But what? I want to try doing those digital products, templates, etc. everyone claims to workout so well. But I'm gonna be washed out in this competition??? Or should I just bite my teeth and get back to corporate coz there's no better stable income source?????
My husband has been really supportive. He keeps reassuring me that I don't have to figure out anything today and whatever I decide he is okay with it. But I just can't stand the thought of never having an income source for myself. I want the freedom to spend time with the baby and myself and still draw an income. Am I crazy for thinking in circles? At this point, I feel I don't have any skill and that I'm useless and corporate is never gonna take me.
I knowwwww I know. I should be kind to myself. But when I'm doing nothing but dozing off whenever possible and whine about the cramps and pain when women going through the same are working full time, it's really difficult to not let these thoughts in!!
Help a girl out by just lending an ear (a "same here" comment) or some advice/direction. I'll take anything at this point! 😂
PS: I know we're building a life inside us (isn't that crazy?!) so please take care of yourselves ❤️