Dying from chronic pain
I’m at my wits end. I am becoming less of a person every day and the doctors and nurses and friends and family don’t seem to care and apparently aren’t able to help. I know I could be doing more but my baseline is often gritting teeth to barely make it through the day. I’ve had multiple procedures including nerve ablations and steroid injections. Nothing has worked for more than a couple days. I have a small bulging disc between L4 and L5 vertebra and SI joint pain for unknown reasons (I suspect mild hyper mobility). My job makes the pain worse due to having to stand with bad posture and I have to bend and twist a lot. I try to rest when I can at work by sitting but I have to get up every few minutes and the constant transition from sitting to standing also exacerbates my pain. I can’t afford to not work even though it makes everything worse and I cannot find another job. I’ve been looking and interviewing for months and months. I’ve struggled with depression my whole life and I am spiraling even worse again. I’m not ok. I’m doing very bad and I just don’t want to keep struggling anymore. The medicines barely take the edge off and with this pain I’ve also had to endure familial and social emotional stress. My pain has reached so bad I’ve gone to the ER. I had a muscle relaxer injection in my thigh that still causes tiny ticks of pain randomly, months after the medication has worn off. Does anyone have any suggestions? Any hope because I am pretty hopeless at this point. Thank you.