u/Odd-Obligation9800

Hey guys, Cynthia again.

Quick update about my life and what's been going on with me; I went on a date with someonenfor the first time since moving back home here, I got my boating license, and oh! I helped a bigfoot hunter maybe catch pictures of the elusive creature. I dunno. I haven't heard from Rudiger let me know. Kinda worried about the guy.

Anyway, on to my actual question; has anyone had trouble with growing small window plants lately? I know that's a weird question, and I'm probably phrasing it oddly, but I don't know how else to word the question.

So some background, I bought a windowsill planter box to grow some clover and mint cus I heard they're safe for ducks, but then less than a week after putting it all together and sowing the after germinating them in paper towels and stuff, SOMEONE EMPTIED OUT THE WHOLE PLANTER AND TOOK ALL THE DIRT WITH THEM. that's it. Just the dirt and seeds. It was really confusing. Like who would do that in the middle of the night from a window box on the seventh story of an apartment building. I assumed it was crows or something. I dunno, maybe a pelican scooped up all the dirt and flew off with it or something. The planter box was still there, the little painted shells I decorated it with are still there. I just assumed it was an animal of some sort, so I installed some REALLY nice garden gnomes; mosiced glass and ceramic and really cute lederhosen. I loved those things. I thought they'd keep whatever wrecked it away.

I was wrong, I was really really wrong. the morning after I put them in the planters, they were gone and so was all the dirt again. a note was left in the bottom of the planter that said "this is beanboy turf; legumes only or else."

Anyone know what's going on? Anyone else dealt with this before? Im lost here. I could use any lead you guys got.

Hi everyone! Cynthia here again; I have wonderful news! Ive been invited by a clients family to join the yearly upper duck (ew) Summer Festival. I've always wanted to go, ever since I was a kid! I just don't know what to bring and I was wondering if it's like a quiche or potluck kind of vibe or..? Yeah. Im really nervous about this whole thing. I've got a plus one and was thinking of asking my boss, but I feel like that might send the wrong vibes. Anyway, if anyone's got any suggestions I'd love to hear it; I feel like a duck in the desert on this one.

Hey everyone! Cynthia here again (sorry you gotta all be getting tired of these) I just found something out in the woods and I'm having trouble fitting it all together.

So for those who don't know, a couple days ago there was a thunderous, earth shaking boom coming from the forest out by Mary's old cottage. I initially thought it was just a part of the birding celebration she holds every year, but no; unfortunately it wasn't. In fact I don't think anyone in LDP set it off at all.

On the suggestion of my boss, Sam Charles P.I. (you all know and love him) I went investigating just on the hunch that something about it all felt seriously wrong. What I found has left me beyond confused and utterly without any idea where to move forward with this investigation.

It started with some 30 maybe 40 feet of flattened trees out in a, definitely unnatural, clearing out past Mary's cottage. The flattened timber was laid out in a circular pattern surrounding what looked like a newly built gazebo. It was completely untouched by whatever flattened the trees; the paint was fine, there was a candle lit in the middle (still burning when I got there which is super weird because I felt the shockwave of wind when I was out by the forests edge initially.

I'm so lost. The only other thing of note was a bunch of chickens walking around, but their sounds were duck quacks. I swear! I know it's crazy but these are the facts, recorded on both video and audio thanks to the body cam setup my boss provided for me. He's the best.

I was wondering if anyone has any clues. Anything at all. I'm at a total loss here and anything, no matter how seemingly insignificant, will surely help. Thank you all for your time; I love you all. Have a great day!

Hey guys, Cynthia here; I was just out by Mary's old cottage down by the edge of town cleaning up some stuff left over from the birding party last weekend when I heard what sounded like a thunderous boom followed by a bunch of wild boars and birds running out of the woods. Anyone know what's going on? I walked around for half an hour in the direction I thought the noise came from but I didn't find anything. It's really puzzling me.

Hey all! It's great to see you all again. I missed living here so much. College was great but wow I missed this place. It's been a while since I posted to the public message board, and a lot has happened. I got a place in the old soup factory apartment building, I have been proposed to eight separate times, and I got a job with the great P.I Sam Charles as his assistant. It's been a ride, and I've only been back a few months.

I was going through my boss' old files (his sleep schedule isn't the only thing that needs organizing) and I was fascinated by the case of the missing frog fountain. This is a casefile that relates to a crime, I'm pretty sure, Sam Charles is working in his relaxation time. The only other corroborating evidence of it ever occuring came from a source I've made in the LDP Sheriff's office, so I think it's just an unsolved cold case.

Back in 1971, the last masterpiece of Lower Duck Pond native Hank Tankleson disappeared from the historic garment district public park. How the 25 meter hammered copper statue of the beloved local folk cryptid we all know as The Frog King vanished was a mystery until 1992 when Sam Charles discovered the old mining tunnels from the 1700s that had been sealed away for over a century. They ran everywhere under the town and later became the basis for Greg Flimp's memorable failure when he ran on the platform of building an interconnected subway system. A great idea, but he wanted to connect lower duck pond with upper duck pond and the people weren't ready for that. Don't know if we are now, to be honest. Those upper duck pond people can be really mean, and I don't know if I want more of them down here. Sorry, that's my personal grudge. I guess that's why I'm not ready to go out investigating on my own yet, and that's okay. There's a lot to read in these case files.

Anyway, those tunnels are still there today and the way they're built, their arches support our beautiful city and act as a sort of water level regulator so our streets don't get flooded. It's honestly quite beautiful in how it was all built. Which is also what the thieves thought, because they first stole Stuffy the show elephant from the upper duck ponds yearly circus event, walked her through the old tunnels, blasted through the ground supporting the frog king, and used Stuffy's great strength to pull it away into the night.

A second team repaved the park, destroyed in the heist; covering any trace that anything but the fountain was disturbed. No one reported anything but a few sounds like fireworks, and maybe a few shakes. This was during the great tourist migration when our town was overrun by trust fund kids who thought our town was 'kitsch' and 'simple' and 'quaint' so there was a lot of construction and not a lot of respect so, y'know... People got annoyed but not alarmed by the sounds. I think.

His notes are so crowded its hard to figure out what some of this says. Especially after so long in a file cabinet, totally untouched by light or fresh air or anything but bugs and dust. I'm so glad I'm here to sort this out. Literally best job in the world. All else I can see of note is that he made a really big point to emphasize that the copper of the statue had an unknown additional alloyed core, and had tiny crystal like faceting that made its eyes glisten like an otherworldly pool of light. Sounds beautiful.

The last page of his notes have the suspected crew, but it also says that they all died by the time he caught up with them. "Death from inhalation of excessive toxins in the smelting into movable ingots process" is what I think these notes say. The inspector is quick, but not quicker than death from stupid I guess. Wear your ppe when in the workshop folks.

I had never heard of this fountain before today and I thought you'd all love to read about it too. If anyone was here when it was around and had pictures or could tell me about it I'd love to know more. It sounds absolutely magical. Have a good day everyone <3 you all

Heyy guys! It's Cynthia again. Everything has been amazing since moving back to town; I got a job with a private investigator, got a wonderful apartment, and already turned down a marriage proposal and it's only been a week! It's been crazy. Anyway, today while I was walking around the pond on my lunch break I had the WORST burgers I've ever had. Honestly, I just threw it away after like one bite. Had me wretching. Hanson's Hamburgers btw, highly recommend you avoid. I was wondering what everyone's favourite burger spot is. I don't want to go through that again.

So like the title says. I'm looking for a non serious conspiracy theory subreddit where I can (and this is the important part) Role Play as a conspiracy theorist. I just want to make an insane post in the vein of "hey (subreddit here) I just found out that no one's ever died in any war ever; spent bullet fumes are just hallucinogenic" or "dvds actually were popular bacause they had secret programs on them that put subliminal programs on the tv theyre connected to." Y'know. Just somewhere to say crazy nonsense that could make for a fun hour of roleplaying and creative writing, but with a conspiracy satire theme because those are generally the most insane. I tried a bunch of different keyword combos in the reddit search bar but I came up with only conspiracy subreddits that were serious about their nonsense. Can anyone point me to a subreddit like this?