u/OfficialMikeLove

Over the past 2 weeks, you may have seen a number of baseless and unfounded accusations made on this subreddit and others as part of a conspiracy to harm one of rock and roll’s greatest living icons. This slander is being promoted by a cabal of assorted chickenshits, acid freaks, mop-tops, loud braggarts and possibly even Mick Jagger himself. 

In the interest of maintaining harmony and curating a safe, welcoming environment for all users, I am proposing that the following new rules be implemented as soon as possible:

1. Any and all unjust criticism and/or slander made against Beach Boys front man and lyricist Mike Love will be grounds for a swift and immediate ban, as well as the filing of criminal charges. These charges will carry penalties ranging in severity from monetary fines for minor offenses, to death sentences for those violations which are deemed to be particularly egregious.
2. In order to discourage bad-faith actors and ensure quality discussion, posting privileges will henceforth be contingent on verification by the mod team. Users who wish to contribute to the subreddit must first submit a timestamped photograph containing their government ID and demonstrating proof-of-purchase for one or more of the following:
   • Looking Back with Love
   • Unleash the Love
   • Reason for the Season
   • 12 Sides of Summer
   • a 2023 concert ticket (redeemable for a free download of Mike Love, Not War)
3. The Auto Moderator will now flag and remove all posts and/or comments found to contain any of the following words and/or phrases:
   • Apple juice
   • Cornfield
   • Alopecia
   • Statutory
   • Lawsuit
   • Formula
   • Shawn Marie
   • Male-pattern
   • Allegations
   • Nasally
   • Groupie
   • Fired
   • Underage
   • Ain't no
   • Ego
   • Hat
4. Any and all mentions of the 35 songs included in the verdict of Love v. Wilson, 1994 must credit co-author Mike Love, e.g. “I really dig the groovy sound of ‘I Get Around’ (co-written by Mike Love) by the Beach Boys!” A list of the 35 songs can be found on Page 3 of this PDF and it is strongly advised that subreddit users commit them to memory.
5. The creation and/or sharing of images intended to slander, defame or otherwise harm the reputation of Beach Boys front man and lyricist Mike Love is strictly prohibited. Some examples of slanderous, defamatory and harmful images are illustrated below:
   • Figure 5a
   • Figure 5b
   • Figure 5c

Please note that these proposed rules are final and not subject to any further revision.

Thank you for your attention to this matter! 🤙🧘‍♂️