u/Ok-Can-795

I’m 19, from Alex, and I think I might have a problem.

I want a girlfriend.

Like, really want one.

Not in the boring “I want someone to post on Instagram with” way. I want to meet a girl and become genuinely fascinated by her. I want to know why she laughs at certain things, what songs she plays when she’s alone, what food she randomly craves, what makes her excited, what makes her nervous, what stupid little things she does without realizing it.

I want to know her.

I’m into music, clothes, designing, gaming, movies, all that stuff. I listen to Daniel Caesar, Kali Uchis, Mac DeMarco, Steve Lacy, Tyler, and a bunch of other artists. I’m the type of person who will hear a song and immediately think, “Damn, I wish I had someone to listen to this with.”

And I think that's what I actually want.

Someone to share all the little shit with.

I want to go to the movies with her and spend more time looking at her reactions than the actual movie. I want to get food afterward and argue about whether the movie was actually good. I want to walk around with her for hours even though neither of us has anywhere to go.

I want to know what she looks like when she’s half asleep.

I want to know what makes her laugh when she’s trying not to laugh.

I want to know her favorite song and then accidentally play it 400 times because now it reminds me of her.

I want to make stupid inside jokes that would make absolutely no sense to anyone else.

I want to be annoyingly excited when she texts me.

I want to see her name pop up and immediately smile like an idiot.

And yeah, maybe that's ridiculously cheesy.

I don't care.

I think I want to fall for someone so badly that the most mundane things become interesting because she's there.

Like I could literally be sitting beside her doing nothing and somehow think, “How the hell did I get this lucky?”

I don't want some perfect Instagram relationship.

I want the messy, stupid, genuine version.

The kind where we annoy each other, laugh at each other, disappear into conversations for hours, send each other songs, make terrible jokes, and somehow still choose each other at the end of the day.

I don't know who she is yet.

That's the crazy part.

There’s some girl out there who I haven't even met, and somehow I already want to know everything about her.

That's probably insane.

But whatever.

I just hope I meet her someday.