i’m too emotionally induced and overwhelmed by my own interesting life so i can’t focus on crafting
I am 23, i feel like i’m so caught up in my emotions, in my family, my found family, i can reach far but i don’t know how far should i reach, i’m so afraid my life would be just about overwhelming amount of life so that i can’t write because of it. Because i know i can do “life” itself: my degrees, jobs, and keeping family isn’t that what its all about in this stage of humanity?
I have chose my path to become a published author, a writer in any sense, not commercial-job-demand writer, but fiction writer. I feel that that one thing, being and choosing to be a writer is very scary because i have to finish it, unlike so many on going life choices, writing has to be finished. And i’m too overwhelmed with life so i can’t built my discipline to finish a novel.
So far, my medium are short stories and poetry. I have written a full length short story during my literature program and won an award from my faculty. And i feel my poetries are such a different mechanism of writing, where it can only be born if i just live.
I have so many stories in mind. All of it (plot-wise, subject matter-wise) are finished and made up. But those stories are lengthy, i lack not the gift, but the discipline. I want to try the abc’s of crafting, but now just about to graduate and working freelance (only 1 time a wek) im just very tired just because i’m living life. My emotions are induced already from living day to day life, because i live with my queer family. And i could love this life fully if i don’t long for a quieter one to become a fully realized writer.
However intelligent i am, I’m never a prodigy or a natural doer hence the self awareness of where i lack. There’s this heaviness that i don’t spend my time more on writing, but i can’t im too tired.
Is there anyone who also going through the same thing? Or went through the same thing? I want to cope for the long run for my creative ideation.